Serious Relationship

Some considerations of serious relationship

Some thoughts...

A relationship coach lays out his 5 Golden Rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone). Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.

Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more.

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:
Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important?
Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone.

What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart.

To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life - bottom line - and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is Trust! i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.

A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings.
Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:
Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.

How can you test? Here are some suggestions.
> 1. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
> 2. Are they serious about improving themselves?

A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing".

"So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?"

Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.

You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:
How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following:
> 1. How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc?
> 2. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?
> 3. Do they show respect?

If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you - who can't do nearly as much for them!
> 4. Do they gossip and speak badly about others?
Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.


QUESTION #5:
Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married.

As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage... for the worse!"
If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.
It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.


HOW WILL I KNOW IF I'VE MET THE PERSON I SHOULD MARRY?

The choice of a marriage partner should not be based on "I get a warm, wonderful feeling whenever we're together and I want to have that warm wonderful feeling forever, so let's go get married".

Feelings, as we have discussed, have no logic on their own. They need to be acknowledged, of course, but they need considerable assistance from your brain.

Marriage means choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with. This, as you may have guessed, is a very long time to spend with one person. This person will live with you, eat meals with you, sleep with you and go on vacation with you. More important yet, this person will share your children.

You need to choose wisely.

The decision should not be made based on feelings alone. You need to ask yourself some tough questions. The decisions have to be made on solid considerations.

Will this person be a good partner? Is she mature enough to put her own selfish desires aside to look out for what is best for the family?
Is he prepared to be a good provider? What is his track record? Is he responsible enough to get a good job and keep it?

Will this person be a good parent? Can you stand the thought of your children turning out exactly like this person? They will, you know. Children spend a lot of time with their parents and consequently pick up many or most of their parents' character traits. You had better like your spouse's traits a lot because you will be seeing them again in your children.
If something were to happen to you, would you completely trust this person, alone, with the task of raising and forming your children? This is not a pleasant thought, but it is an important consideration. Not everyone dies at a ripe old age with great grandchildren gathered around the bed.
Sometimes a parent dies and leaves young children in the care of the other parent. If you feel that you would need to be around to correct or lessen this person's influence on your children, then you are considering the wrong person.

Does this person share your faith in God? God does not give us children so that we can mould them into the coolest, most popular people in school. Our job is to get them to heaven. To do that, we need to raise them believing in God. It is tough to do that if only one parent believes.

Saying "This is right and that is wrong, and I want you to ignore Mommy until you are thirty-five" does not work. Small children ask about eight million questions in a single day. The answers to those questions go a long way toward forming the kind of adults they will become. Who will be answering those questions for your children?

Does this person you are marrying have sexual self-control?

Single people sometimes have this idea that marriage is just some kind of lifelong sex festival and that as long as they have each other, they will never be tempted by other people. Wrong!
There are many times in every marriage when one partner or the other is sexually unavailable - illness, the last months of pregnancy, travel.
There are also times when spouses, just get on each others' nerves. At times like this, other people can seem very appealing. That can be dangerous, because there are plenty of very attractive people out there who are willing to make themselves available to married men and women. Do you want someone who has never said "no" to sex? If he is not good at saying "no" at eighteen, it won't be different at forty. Do you want to worry about whether or not your Spouse is being faithful?

These are very important questions, and if you are not comfortable with all of the answers, you should definitely not marry this person.

None if this is to say that feelings play no role at all in a marriage decision. You don't have to, "Well, I suppose that you would make a good spouse and parent, so even though I don't particularly like you I guess I'll marry you.”

You need to be happy and excited about the prospect of spending your life with someone. Your brain however must acknowledge that this person as a good choice. Don't listen to your heart alone or your head alone.

Wait until your heart and head agree....

Communicate With a Guy After He Rejected You

How to Communicate With a Guy After He Rejected You

You liked him and he talked to you a whole lot. Then,you gave it a try, thinking he would never hurt you. But, you were wrong. You might still like him, and might still want to talk. It might be awkward, but if you try this, it's gonna be fine.
How to Make Men Commit
Learn this 1 big mistake you make that makes men fear commitment.

1. Wait for the right time. Wait until he is comfortable. It may take weeks, or maybe months, to gather up your courage, so wait for that time. Once you feel okay, you can move on.
2. Make the effort. Slowly start to sit closer to him in classes. Stand by him in lines. Talk to his friends. Make sure you glance at him in classes. And if he stares back, it's a pretty good chance he might want to talk. So, make him think your not afraid of talking with him. Now, move on.
3. Ask your friends to sit by you and talk to them like crazy. It will catch his eye. Be funny and care-free. Then, you can say something really ditzy, and hit it off. When he looks your way, start laughing and say "Well, that was really stupid!" and he likely will respond. Or, you can sing a song he knows. Make him sing too.
4. Start looking at him more. Talk to him. Make the effort. Act like he's one of your friends.
5. Be yourself! You can dress nicer and all, but just keep in mind, he might like you for you more than you think!
6. Don't see it as an opportunity to win him over, see it as an opportunity to reestablish communication and/or friendship.
7. After something so hard, give yourself time and him, so you can get rid of the awkwardness. Once you're ready, just get to know him better, as a friend. Send him small messages like 'what's up?', and it will show him that you guys are cool. And who knows? Maybe trying to befriend him will one day make him fall for you, and see what he missed out on.

* Just be friendly. Eventually if he gives hints that he likes being friends with you, you might take it up a step.
* Remember! Be comfy with him, but don't go over-board.
* Try not to give him too much of your time. When someone rejects you, it's because they're not interested, and you have to accept it. It may hurt a lot, but just keep in mind he is the one missing out, not you.
* If you're friends with the guy or became friends with him, DON'T bring up the rejection again. It only makes things a bit uncomfortable and you will regret it. It just makes him feel bad that he had to reject you, because you weren't his type, and makes it seem like you can't let go of the past.

Things You'll Need :
* Humor
* A smile
* Confidence
* Yourself ---taken from www.wikihow.com

If we act good and treat him well, i think that's all enough, beside we have to be honest to ourself.
Just show your love as a friend if he looks uncomfortable with what we did in the past.
Love have patient and full of respect of ourself and him.
Let your love enroll from your heart, but you must keep control its flow. You will reconcile your relationship with him.
And nothing to lose, if you can not have him as your lover, you can have him as good friend, and the most , you have learnt how to be honest to your feel and let your pure love enroll from your heart. Once, you will have right man loves you as you never think before.

Choose Between Two Girls

Choose Between Two Girls

Look...It's happened. You like two girls, maybe you're going out with one of them, maybe they both like you, maybe they don't. It's just that they're waiting for you to make that decision their waiting, and you'd better choose one before you lose both.


Dont think things are going to work themselves out when you are choosing between two girls if you just let things go then you will be unhappy without the one you want.

1. Analyze your relationship with both girls. What do you actually want from each of the girls?
Just a physical relation?
Marriage?
A fun time?
Soul mate?
This is a very important decision, or you'll be stuck with something you don't want.
2. What does one girl have that the other one doesn't?
If both are good looking, which one do you enjoy being with more?
Which one are you more compatible with?
Who do you have better conversations with?
Who has the better family?
Who do you have the most fun with?
Who does your mother like the best?(She knows you the best so she will know who's best for you, whether she knows the girls or not)
Who do you try new things with (this is important if you are thinking about a long term relationship, a key factor is to have someone who keeps things light and wont get boring.)Answer all of these questions before moving on.

1. Make a table with one column for each girl, and list as many good qualities as you can think of.
2. Locate any qualities that both girls share, and cross them off the list. You are now left with a list of unique qualities that each girl has. Review these qualities and compare which ones you like best. The girl with the most and best unique qualities is most likely the one you should choose. Also if you want list the bad qualities and the one with the least bad qualities is also most likely the one you should choose.
3. Once you make your decision, be direct about it. Do not flip flop between the girls. Girls love it when you're direct. Girls love actions. Do something in front of her friends (they probably think you are a jerk.)Remember actions speak louder than words. Figure out where she is one night and surprise Go up to her and just tell her, "I can't bear to be without you." She'll melt. They go for that stuff, once in a while. Also remember anything can be fixed.


* If you aren't satisfied with the steps above, pick whichever girl you have the most in common with.
* Let the other girl down easy. Talk to her and explain the predicament. The worst thing you can do is ignore her or bottle the feelings.
* If you've chosen already and believe you have chosen wrongly, go back and fix your mistakes. It'll take some time and some bonding, but you'll be better for it.
* Not all girls are the same, some may fall for stupid silly tricks, some may not.

* Don't let the girls know you are observing them for unique traits! They will certainly put on a show if they know you are watching. You need to determine their real qualities.
* You're unlikely to be able to see both of them at the same time. If you play with both, you may lose them both. Play one, and keep something up your sleeve should it fall through. Don't lose both girls needlessly, when one will do.
* You can't have strong feelings for one person while you're going out with someone else. It'll ruin the relationship you do have.
* If you actually say "I can't bear to live without you", make sure you say it seriously, or else most likely they will laugh.

How to love

How to Love

Love is a strange thing. It can be the most amazing feeling in the world, or it can really hurt, but in the end love is something most, if not all of us, will face. While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone (even yourself), here is a general guide to loving.

1. Say it. When you say the words "I Love You," do they carry it with them the desire to show someone you love them or do they carry it with them is it what you want to feel? And when you say it make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.

2. Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, try to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are; and realize how they could also love you back just as well.

3. Love unconditionally.
If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.

4. Expect nothing in return.
That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for loving's sake. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.

5. Realize it can be lost.
If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love.


* It does not make you a bad person to desire someone else's love, even if they do not love you. However, to truly love someone, you must let them be free. It is selfish to blame them for your feelings.
* There are many types of love, for example: a mother-son love is different from a best friend's love, which is different from a romantic love. Don't be ashamed to tell anyone that you love your friends as much as you love anyone else in your life.
* You have to find someone that will suit you, someone you feel comfortable with - not just someone to make love to.
* As a word, love can be found worldwide and is often used to describe compassion and/or emotional attachment. Accepting those you love for who they are is part of love. You also need to learn to accept yourself before you can accept another. If you cannot love your self, how are you to love another?
* Love genuinely. Do not compare your feelings now to what your feelings were when you were with another mate. At times, we can experience rejection.
* Realize that love is a feeling and attempt to assist, but ultimately, you are the one who must take action in order to discover love.
* Do things that make the other person feel good, but do not smoother them with gifts and attention.
* Consider some tips about what people in love do.
o People in love are sensitive to each other's needs, and endeavor to meet them even when they do not feel like doing it.
o Men and women may be equal in value but different by nature.

People who truly are in love give their mates "space" to develop their potential and find their fulfillment in life.

Sometimes love is all we need
o Love does not brag. People who are truly in love refrain from rehearsing their good traits just to show off. Bragging in a relationship often is really defensiveness.
o People who are truly in love do not insist that their way is best and demand that their mates give in to them.
o People who are truly in love are considerate of each others feelings and courteous in their actions toward one another. Sadly sarcasm is a way of life for some couples. They ridicule each other, belittle each other and trade jibes with a fury. They may say it is all in fun, but it leaves wounds that will someday become festering sores.
o People who are truly in love look out for their mates' best interests as much as their own. Those in love should be concerned not only about their own individual interests, but about the interests of the other as well.
o People who truly love control their anger when the other displeases them. We are all human, and all humans feel anger periodically, but we only express our anger in destructive ways when we counting on someone else to meet our needs.
o People who truly love each other do not take pleasure in their mates' disappointments or failures.
o People who truly love each other treat their mates with absolute trust. Some husbands and wives torment themselves with groundless suspicions. If you look for trouble you will find it every time.
o People who truly love look forward to their relationship growing more meaningful and precious. They have hope. Which is an attitude that happily anticipates the good. It isn't being blind and denies there are problems, but it does look beyond the problems. People who truly love each other do not allow their problems to rob them of their happiness.
* Remember there is no failure in love, because once you tell somebody who you love, that you love him/her, then you have already succeeded in love.

* You must love yourself before you can love another.
* There is always the risk of getting hurt, but that's part of letting yourself fully love and trust some one. Being hurt could be long-lasting and could hurt more than anything in the world.
* Realize what you have while you have it, and care for the person you trust.
* If something comes to an end, try to let go rather than holding on; it's for the best.
* The idea of love is fueled by childhood fantasies. The love shown in movies, as obtainable as it may be, is rare to say the least.
* You just may find your soul-mate sooner than you want to.
* If you feel any doubt of love your partner has for you, it is probably true. when you give and receive love 100%, you will have no doubt in your heart.
* Don't ask for love - you should receive love because your partner wants to give you love - not because you want it from your partner.
* Do not force love - it will come in good time, it will come.

Believe. God will give you in best time. Learn to love your self and learn to love other in right way. Soon, you'll find your soulmate.

Date on a budget

How to Date on a Budget

Once upon a time a cheap date used to be a movie and a bite afterwards. Not so anymore! That might sound like a fairy tale, but it is the truth.
A movie and popcorn is one of the most expensive dates there is today, unless you figure a burger and coke! Sure, thats cheap, but what do you do before or after?
A little thought on your part, and the right partner, can make a great date, and still leave some change in your pocket.

1. The first date should be a meeting to see if you both enjoy the same things and how well you relate to each other.
Ask them out for a cup of coffee or ice cream. Take a walk. Talk on the telephone, or email. Learn what means a lot to them, and the things that they enjoy doing. This information will enable you to prepare for the first actual date. You cannot plan, for instance, a picnic in the park, if the date is used to eating at the Ritz.

2. Have coffee in a large bookstore cafe, and look through the books, or music to get an idea of what your partner enjoys. If your partner looks interested in any particular items that they sell, or the candy on display, mark it down to memory. These things are useful when holidays or special moments come around, or when you want to just give them a gift to please them.

3. Scan the newspapers for interesting places to visit. There usually is a concert in the park, or perhaps in the Mall. This can be great fun and is an inexpensive 'date'. This also could be quite romantic, if you hold hands while walking to find a seat, or just walking the Mall. Just remember to bring her a small gift when you picked them up.
Did you remember what they were looking at when you met at the bookstore? Your date will be surprised and pleased that you noticed and remembered!

4. For women or guys who like the outdoors, spend the day on a nature trail, in the park, or on the beach and pack a picnic lunch with their favorite foods to make it extra special. End the day, by having a movie night for two, with candy and home-popped popcorn. Go together, and pick out a movie that you both would enjoy.

5. Show your partner affection and let them know you love having them close. Lunch at a fast food place will seem like a great place to eat, because you are enjoying just being together. Meet with friends later, for coffee and dessert.
When the relationship is a good one, you do not have to spend a lot of money because your date will be happy just to be with you, even if you only spend the day walking in the park. While walking you get to know each other better, and will have things to talk about when you date again.

* Hunt for gift items, at discount stores. Buy greeting cards, for all occasions, and the Dollar Card Stores. It is not the price that counts, it is the thought. Make a card yourself, and add your own words and thoughts.
* If you like to cook, pasta dinner, with salad and inexpensive wine, makes for a great budget dinner. Do not forget to have candles on the table, for that romantic touch.
* If you are really on a budget, you can borrow movies from the library (some libraries might charge you, others might not, so check first). *
Check out your local zoo or museum, usually these are inexpensive places to go on a date and explore a little. Occasionally, these places will also have Free days. Also look to see if a carnival is in town too.
* Plan a road trip to a fun place or accompany her on an errand such as grocery shopping. (This works well if you've been friends for awhile)
* Go Dutch (Sometimes women do not like having the guy pay for everything. Paying separately or have alternate between who pays can add variety)
* Remember that if you are planning on a long term relation, each partner should enjoy the other's company, not the lifestyle this person can provide. If you are supposed to pay all the time, just for the honor of having the other persons company, that relation is worthless and dangerous.
* Because of rising gas prices, a walk in town or a walk through a mall could be better ideas for those on strict budgets, this also allows you to get to know them better by seeing which stores they are attracted to.
* If there is a minor league sports team nearby, consider going to a game. Tickets to these events are often only a couple of dollars, and are a great way to spend the afternoon or evening.
* Check around your community for independently-owned or discount movie theatres. Tickets will cost less (often only two or three dollars), as will concessions. In addition, these theatres will be less crowded, so you're less likely to get stuck behind someone tall or in front of someone loud.
* Be wary of partners who window shop with you, and only show you the most expensive items. Watch to see if your "partner" orders the most expensive meal on the menu, or discusses expensive ways to spend the day. All they want is someone to pay their way, and are probably not there for a long term relationship. Make sure that when you first meet, they do not know you have a lot of money so that their choice on whether to date you or not is not based on money at all. When the money goes, so will they!

When Asked on a Date

How to Respond When Asked on a Date

Not sure how to answer a guy who has asked you out?

1. If you want to go out with him, then just say yes. If you really like him, then go for it. Even if you get embarrassed easily, it's just one word.

2. If you don't want to go out with him, don't say yes! This could just end up hurting him more - no one wants to go out with someone who doesn't like them.

3. Try to say either yes or no. Even if you're shocked, do not say maybe.

4. If you don't like the guy that way, then say no in a nice way. Don't be harsh in your letdown; it probably took him weeks to get the courage to confront you.

5. Never say yes if you don't want to be his girlfriend. It's better to get rejected than to think you have a chance with someone when you don't.

6. If you do say no try to put him down gently, but don't go on and on. It will just get boring and uncomfortable, and you giving him all the reasons why you don't want to go out with him wont help him.

7. If you want a date with him but you think the time is not suitable, just propose another time so that he doesn't take it as a rejection.


* Don't act desperate when you say yes, you'll only embarrass yourself.
* Say, "Yeah, sounds like fun!" or, "Yes, I'd love to."
* A cute, flirtatious, 'sure!' would also win the day.
* If you say no, don't carry on having stabs at him and his confidence.
* How do you know that you won't like this guy? I've had experiences where I will say, "Yes," anyways and end up having a great time! Give the guy a chance! After all, he was brave enough to ask.
* NEVER spread gossips on someone to whom you've said no. Once you've done so your point is made and there's little point giving him a hard time.

How to Reject Someone Without Breaking Their Heart

How to Reject Someone Without Breaking Their Heart

Ever wanted to reject someone without the heartbreak and tears? It's not that hard, really. Just be sure to follow a few of these ideas and you will be able to step away from the encounter unscathed.

1. Look around to make sure no one's watching. The worst that can happen is being rejected in front of other people! If there are people present, take their arm and try to slide away from the others. Perhaps if you can slip into a semi-private corner or at least to where the others are not within hearing distance.

2. Act like you feel sorry, and smile at the right times.
Make sure you smile regretfully, like you really just wish you could give them a chance but it's not going to happen. This will soften the actual blow from the words.

3. Cheer them up a little. Be very kind to the person; being kind makes it easier on them.
Be sure that your kindness does not stray into pity. The worst thing in a rejection is pity. They have put all their dignity and pride on the line, and pitying them will only make it harder on both of you to stay calm. If you act like you really don't want this person, be prepared for their reactions, mostly dejection, awkwardness and pain.

4. Use a calm, collected voice when speaking to them. Don't blurt out the first thing that comes into your head. Take a pause before you say anything and think of the best thing to say to either end all of the attraction instantly or keep them as a friend. Act like you care when you say "No", or you may start waterworks.
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* You have to understand how degrading it is for boys to be rejected.
* Don't be so rude to them! What point would there be in trying not to break their heart if you're rude!?
* If the person gets mad, stay calm and keep acting a little sorry, but happy as well to try to calm them down.
* The best thing to say when turning down someone that you do know or will have to see on a regular basis is that you have stronger feelings as friends. This gives them their answer, without giving them any hope for the future.
* If this is a person that you don't like at all, or will not have to ever see again, then keep the rejection as blunt as possible without being unnecessarily mean. This guarantees that they will not try again and will also not say bad things about you when you're not around.
* It is also possible to say that you are honoured that they have feelings for you but it is not possible at this time for you to return them, but you hope that you can remain friends.

* Do not flirt with them during or anytime soon after the rejection. It is very easy to just charm them with a compliment as you let them down, but be sure not to lay it on too thick or the "No" you are issuing will not be heard.

* If you feel,however, that although now is not the right time, but maybe someday, give them hope with clear outlines. Let them know where they stand and perhaps what is holding you back from saying yes now.

Love Hurts

How love hurts and several quotes from well known authors regarding how much pain a feeling of love can cause.


Love is great when it is fresh and happening and when you feel it slipping away, both the times love makes us feel there is nothing like love in our life. Though love gives a certain high at the time when both of you are feeling the same things, there is nothing more painful that your love going away.love hurts

Love hurts so much that at times it leaves you in depth of sadness which is certainly larger than the high of happiness it gave you. A breakup is the thing about love, a reason that prompts many to avoid being in love. Many simply ignore the realization that they are in love because they dread the time when this feeling will wear itself off and the remains of love will be torn to shred by arguments and fights and usual drifting away.

Many famous people have fallen in love again and again only to grow apart and feel the sadness that love tends to give after it goes away. There are very less numbers of people who have not experienced love and almost all who have experienced love have experienced the heartbreak that follows love, bar a few lucky ones. Many writers have expressed their feelings about how love hurts in most apt way and that is through quotes.


As famous poet and writer Oscar Wilde puts it, “when one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others, that is what the world calls romance.”

Love is blind and has been proven more than one time, often couples in love do not see stark differences that are obvious to others in their personality. Love often makes people do things and act in certain ways, that are surprising to others as well as themselves, heart wants to love whether or not brains allows it, therefore, rational decision making rarely takes place when people are in love.

There are quotes made by other famous literary giants like William Shakespeare who wrote “The courses of true love never did run smooth!” this happens to be true too, most passionate love affairs have ended up rather tragically, with either the couple breaking up with some one causing the breakup or one among the couple passing away. Whenever there is true love there is no dearth of troubles coming its way.

There is another quote from an anonymous author who quotes, “Why is it always that we don’t know when love happens, and we always know the moment it ends?” True some people though they do recognize the feeling of love, and they know that they are in love tend to ignore it to the extent they can. It is mere fear of the break up and the denial that love cannot happen to them makes them react in such a way to love, however whenever love has ended we accept it and face it faster than we recognized it.

End of love means end of the world for some, where people are unable to comes to terms with the end in relationship often get depressed and are more likely to try drastic methods since they cannot stand the pain end of relationship brings together. There is a proverb that proves love to be a truthful thing it is “where there is love there is pain”. Love can bring up pain in different forms not just through break up.

Love gives pain whenever your beloved is in pain or suffering. Love ensures that you will suffer as much or maybe more when your beloved is suffering just because you cannot do anything to ease out the pain and the emotional turbulence your beloved is going through.

Another quote by William Shakespeare proves how difficult it can be to comes to terms with a breakup, he quotes “Love is a smoke made with the fumes of sighs.” This quote speaks so much about feeling of losing out on something precious that a breakup tends to bring. No wonder people who have been through this feeling sigh away their sadness.

All pain that there is in love is given all the more aptly by George Granville, who writes “Of all pains, the greatest pain, is to love, and to love in vain.” Whenever feelings of love are not reciprocated or the relationship that one values so much is not valued equally by the partner, definitely the feeling of loving in vain would come. The feeling of not being esteemed as much as you esteemed another person will surely cause pain.

Love hurts through different ways, you can be in love and with the one you love and still be hurt, or a breakup in a relationship can hurt. It does not take a long time to end a relationship, but it surely takes a lifetime to forget someone you once loved so dearly.

Into you or not?

It is said that the love of a man for woman could be recognized very easily but it is very difficult to define it.

There are no clear-cut formulae to explain love. However, here are a few tips that had been provided by people who are supposed to be knowledgeable in matters of love.

* The man can't seem to stop talking to you everyday.
* He is not dating anybody else except you.
* He starts treating your mother the way he treats his own mother.
* He starts using possessive words like "we", "our", and "us" more during conversations with you, particularly when he is talking about the future.
* He is keeping a photo of yours on his desk.
* He starts keeping your favorite food items in his refrigerator.
* He bestows top priority to you over his work and other relationships.
* He keeps saying nice things about you when he talks to his friends.
* He does all your errands without the least hesitation.
* He keeps looking at you in the most admiring way even when prettier women are around.

Remember that love in real life is not as easy as it is shown in movies.

When a man is in love with you, the chances of breaking up are much higher. Even ordinary actions assume enormous importance in love, whether they are positive or negative. Hence, when you think that a man is in love with you, you should handle the entire matter with kid gloves.

Start taking a genuine interest in what he likes and dislikes, his tastes, habits, etc. It helps you in understanding him better. Further, with such knowledge, you would be able to avoid rubbing him the wrong way, which is as important as pleasing him. When a man loves you, he starts giving lot of importance to you. Open flirting might not always mean that the man loves you but the bestowal of more attention to what you say and what you like is a definite sign of love. He would hasten to act all your requests, irrespective of the time of the day. Even if you call him at 2-00 a.m. in the morning and tell him that you have headache but out of stock of the medication, he would rush to a 24-hour drugstore, get the medicine and come to your place with that.

It is very difficult for men to show their love in an open manner. Even the most courageous man would become a coward when it comes to the woman he loves. His speech would be halting and hesitant. He would start to say something, stop, think it over again and then utter what is in his mind.

It is because he is just getting to know you better and still not sure whether you would like what he says. Even though women are usually more guarded in the initial stages, men are equally nervous around the women they love. However, the man who is in love with you would take extra steps in pleasing you. He would groom his hair and straighten his dress more often, when he is with you. Such acts reveal that he wants to look good for you.

Take a mental note of them. He would talk to you in a low voice so that others would not be able to hear what he says. This would mean that he wants the conversation to be exclusively between him and you. He would compliment you not only in person but also to his friends. He would speak highly of you to others. He would go the extra mile in showing respect to your mother, if you happen to introduce her to him. He would call you several times a day without any special reason.

Whenever he is talking about the future, he would tend to use words like "we", "us", and "our" than "I", "me", and "mine". Use of such words is a sure sign of his planning a future long-term relationship with you. He would be keeping your photo on his work desk as well as in his room. He would be stocking all the food and beverage items that you like, so that you are not disappointed at any time, if you are hungry when you are at his place. He would tend to look at you in an admiring way whenever he is with you.

While you are leaving, he would keep looking at your back till you disappear from his view. He would arrive early for a meeting and would leave after you, if he is not accompanying you to your place. Even when he drops you at your home, he would wait till you have entered the house and closed the door before leaving. All these telltale signs would definitely show that the man is in love with you and desires a long-term relationship with you. Act positively and let not this chance pass you by.