Is it Love, Infatuation, or Lust ??

While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction between love, lust and infatuation clearer for yourself.

Steps

1. 

   Could it be love?
   Write down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about. Example words on your brainstorm list could include love, butterflies, sex, holding hands, annoying snoring, gorgeous, etc.
2. Circle each attribute with a different color such as red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love.
3. See which of the three feelings dominates the page. If one doesn't stand out (like if the distribution seems pretty equal), move on to the following steps for more insight.
4. Or is it lust?
   Read literature on the topic. Questions aboutare timeless questions that have consumed mankind throughout the ages and are a major theme in many scriptures, tales from mythology, and literature. Read the story of David and Bathsheba from the Old Testament, 1st Corinthians from the New Testament, the story of Ali and Fatima, Echo and Narcissus, or Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
5. Ask your friends or, if you find it easier, ask a complete and utter stranger, so that you get an honest opinion and an outsider's point of view. Tell that person how you feel, and ask them if it sounds primarily like love, infatuation, or lust.
6. Watch a movie that relates to your situation like "Cruel Intentions" (which is about lust, and wanting what you can't have), "Down to You" (which is about love and leaving it all down to the other person), "How to lose guys in 10 days" (which is about none of them really but it's about making a mistake and putting it right), "The Notebook," which tells a tale of life-long love and commitment, "The Phantom of the Opera" (which is about both lust and infatuation) and definitely, "Titanic" (which is about holding on to someone forever until you die - that is love - bittersweet love), also, perhaps, "The Fly" (which is about a woman who falls in love with a man who turns into a fly and then goes insane, and yet remains deeply emotionally attached through this agonizing life change - which is love) or High Fidelity (which is about learning what love really is). Yet understand, that movies are fiction that depict idealized rather than realistic love.

Tips

• Keep in mind that in most relationships, you're feeling all three (love, infatuation, and lust) all at once, to some degree.
• To help you make tough decisions about your relationship, ask someone you trust who has lots of experience with the kind of relationship you want for yourself. For example: Say you want to be happily married to one person for life. If your parents have both been bitterly divorced three times, then they are probably not the ones to talk to. On the other hand, if they are about to celebrate their 50th anniversary of bliss together, then they may be ideal to learn from.

• Lasting relationships are those that are built on love

  - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat. Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love.
• Friendship should also weigh into your decision to commit. In 50 years, if you don't genuinely LIKE your mate, you're going to be miserable.
• Remember that jealousy is not a result of love. It is more likely to be a result of infatuation, insecurity or fear of being alone. Are you in love with being in relationships?
• A major life-changing decision like moving in together, getting engaged or getting married should be a natural step if you love someone. It should not inspire fear.
• Take advantage of the post coital "moment of clarity" to examine your feelings. This is not usually the moment directly after orgasm (where most people are happy with the universe), but 5 or 10 minutes later, when your breathing and heart rate are normal. At this point, does the sex still make you feel closer to that person? Or are you beginning to feel regret and anxiety about what happened? If the latter, then it's most definitely not love but lust.
• Give it some time. Love takes root slowly and grows with time. Infatuation grows into full bloom almost immediately.
• Keep in mind that "True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be and will not be."
  
• What comes to mind when you think about this person. If you are not dating the person, think if you are eager to spend time with them or you just want to watch them from a distance. If you are in a relationship with the person, What do you want most out of the relationship. If you just want to consummate love to the person it is usually lust. True love is when you could love a person without ever "dropping your drawers" so to speak.

Warnings

• If you're not sure about your feelings or your relationship, take things slowly. Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you more attracted to others when you are apart?
• You may also want to consider the fact that it's not always as easy as being one of these three things; often there are a lot of grey areas, the distinctions are blurred, and it is very possible to feel two or even all of these feelings for a person.

So guys, in all things, keep praying. Because He knows the best for us.

How to Be a Great Husband

How to Be a Great Husband

This is the most challenging and rewarding things you'll ever do.

A woman needs to feel as though she is the love of your life.

Steps

1. Enjoy pleasing her.
Women need to feel appreciated. Verbal appreciation goes a long way in making a woman feel valued.
A wife likes to know that you feel lucky to be married to her.

2. Have as your goal for each small interaction of your day, to leave her with a good feeling.
Be supportive. Be considerate. Be kind. Be respectful at all times.

3. Try to understand her needs.
Ask her what they are and show her that you fully understand what makes her happy. A woman likes nothing more than an understanding and an equally compromising husband.

4. Tell her you love her when you hang up the phone with her, leave her, and generally as much as possible without being annoying or cheapening the phrase.
You never know when your time is up so always remember to make sure she knows how much you love her!

5. Always greet your wife with a hug and kiss that says that you're happy to see her and do the same when you leave her to say you will miss her.

6. Find new ways to express your love other than with kisses and the words "I love you."
Tell her what you love about her, what makes her special, what you appreciate. This will help your love to grow as well as hers.

7. Be her greatest supporter.
Be someone she knows that she can always count on. Be there for her when she has had a long day. Listen to her with attentive eyes and ears. Back her up "100" percent! Be prepared to talk with her about how she feels, and yes, how you feel too. And always protect her, both physically and emotionally. If you have done something to hurt her, even if you didn't mean to, tell her you are sorry and show her affection. This must be sincere! There's nothing worse than an "I'm sorry that is put on or phoney.

8. Talk to her about things that interest you, too -- don't worry too much that she'll be bored -- she'll be thrilled that you want to share your hobbies with her.
If possible, try to find an aspect of your interest that she can join in with (if she doesn't already). The efforts you make to help her enjoy what you enjoy will pay off enormously!

9. Nurture your wife.
Little things go a long way! For example, making breakfast, making her coffee/cocoa, giving her back rubs; anything to make her feel comfy and loved. Remind her that you find her attractive in different ways.
#Understand that your personal relationship should be more important to you than your other family members, work etc. This is especially true in blended families where there is a tendency for parents to defend their kids against their new spouse. If you put your kids ahead of your wife, she will never engage with them and they won't respect either of you. She is your partner in all things.
Treat her as such. If you're worried about looking independent in front of them, then talk with your wife and set clear expectations about what decisions you can make without each other, and what decisions must absolutely be discussed.
But also, ask yourself why you feel you should look independent instead of married. It may not be hard to say "Let me talk this over with my other half".

10. Wash the dishes!
Don't make her nag you into doing your share of the housework. Identify what your share is and then stick to it regularly. Don't wait for her to remind you.
This makes her feel like a nag, and it creates an adult/child relationship. Show her she can count on you to get things handled, especially the more labor intensive things like mowing the lawn. Keep up the house in good repair. Generally, women like their homes to look nice, particularly from the outside.

11. Don't show her even the mildest forms of contempt.
Contempt is poison in a relationship. You don't have to act like you like what she said or did, but do not take on an attitude of superiority, even subtly in passing, such as momentary smirking, sighs of disgust or eye-rolling.
Such gestures, though seemingly insignificant, deeply show a lack of support, respect and trust, especially over a period of time. The way you naturally act towards her should subtly validate her as a person, even when you do not understand or agree with her. Giving eye contact when she has something important to tell you shows respect; not giving eye contact shows disrespect and that you don't care about her or what she has to say. This will destroy any attempt to communicate well.

12. Be honest! Nothing will destroy a relationship faster than dishonesty.
Even if its a little lie, an attempt to conceal pieces of information, avoiding telling her everything or not telling her where you're going or where you've been, it causes a disconnection. There can be no intimacy without complete honesty. You both feel it. It can utterly destroy the validity of anything else you say or do for her because if you lie about other things, she will surely not believe you when you say "I love you." So, don't lie.

Always tell her the whole truth.

Tips
* When she's upset, listen, listen, listen. Resist the urge to offer advice unless she asks for it, and don't get defensive. Just listen, and show her that you are trying to understand.

* Husbands and Wives live together but make sure you spend enough time on her turf as you do your own. Make her see that wherever you are you feel like home when you are with her.

* Women love a home-cooked meal. Find your inner Jacques Pépin.

* Offer your wife a massage, foot rub, or back scratch when she's had a bad day.

* Praise your wife in public, but if you notice something you'd like to criticize, please find a private moment. In public make sure everyone around you knows she is your girl! Hold hands whenever possible, kiss, hug, a tap on the butt. To her you are letting everyone know you're off the market.

* A nice romantic gesture goes a long way! Even if it's a little love note to start the day. Light some candles, run a hot bath, wash her hair. These are just a few ideas.

* Be aware that she may not perceive love the same way you do. Quality Time, Gifts, Physical Touch, Verbal Affirmation, and Acts of Service are the different "Love Languages" you and your wife might have -- make sure you find out what hers is, and speak her "love language"!

* Show up at her work or home with just a flower or two; this will brighten her day and you will make her feel like she is the most important woman in the world.

* Discuss your values together and make sure that they are compatible before doing something permanent.

* Discuss your financial dreams together and research and plan to achieve them together.

* Continue spending time with her alone and cherishing her.

* Tell her you find her attractive and why.

* Never compare her to other women and never ogle them in front of her. In fact if you're tempted, switch your thoughts to her immediately and remind yourself that she is the one you desire.

* Always validate her feelings. Women often need to run through the gamut of feelings they have about things out loud in order to understand what it is they really feel about something. Let her do this without judging her and be empathetic instead of defensive or critical even if you don't agree or can't understand things the same way.

* Discuss her strengths.

* Make sure you continue to grow and change; you may drift apart, but you may also become a better and more exciting person with each growth spurt you undergo.

Warnings
Do not go overboard. She may start to get suspicious.

From WikiHow

How to Be a Great Wife

How to Be a Great Wife

You want to be a wonderful wife, but what does that mean? Ultimately, it's up to your and your husband to determine the needs of your relationship and how each partner can do their part to fulfill them, but here are some guidelines to start off with.

Steps

1. Be secure in yourself.
Putting yourself down in front of him is another way of insulting his taste in women. If he is with you, it's because he wants to be.
He will find you sexy even if you don't feel like it, if you act the part. Remember that attitude and willingness are large parts of being sexy.
Poor self-esteem and a "void" in your life is terrible for marriage. Make sure you still have a fun and interesting life. If your husband left tomorrow, would you still have girlfriends you see at least once a month, hobby clubs you go to, sports you play? If not, your husband will always be working to fill a void he can't, and will feel inadequate and unhappy.

2. Express, don't accuse.
Except in the rare event that your husband happens to be psychic, don't expect mind-reading powers. If you want something, ask. If something is wrong, say so. Don't drop hints or figure he'll "come around". Communicate calmly, clearly and directly. Relationships work best when women calmly express their current emotion without harping on what he has done. Frequently, a "I feel attacked" or "I feel sad" is all it takes for him to step back and ask, "Why?" Then simply say, "When you slammed the door, I felt ignored." Let "I feel" be your guide.

3. Don't expect the moon.
He needs to keep trying, you need to keep trying, but neither of you is perfect. Unmet expectations tend to frustrate everyone.
However, if you both keep working on your marriage, you will always be covered, even when one of you comes up a little short. If your expectations are truly too high or unrealistic, then set standards that are obtainable. For example, it is unfair to expect to be lavished with possessions and have the love of your life home for every meal. Should you want more together time, be prepared to have that desire fulfilled at some expense.

4. Pick your battles.
Nagging and nitpicking can damage a relationship. As long as the dishes are clean and unbroken, for instance, don't nag about how to load the dishwasher "the right way". Let him do things his own way. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on what is important.

5. Keep your sex life interesting.
Be willing to try new things and discuss them--don't just turn them down immediately if he suggests something you don't find appealing. This may make him feel rejected. At least be willing to discuss it, and perhaps try it, but never do anything you are uncomfortable with after discussing it with him. Also, don't be afraid to discuss anything you might be interested in. Physical intimacy is as important to a marriage as emotional intimacy. Nurture them both.

6. Accept him.
Only by accepting him as he is, do you have such deep respect and gratitude for him that you would never want him to change in any way for you. He has so much to offer you if only you give him the space to be himself. He is a growing individual, just like you are. Help him grow in the direction that he chooses, and give him the chance to help you.

Tips
* Don't criticize your husband, not in his presence, not in his absence, not when you're in front of people, and not when you're alone together. Be supportive, encouraging, and compliment him as much as you can. This doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your concerns, but there's a difference between expressing your needs and criticizing his ability to meet them.


Warnings

* If you're forced to do things, if he hits you at all, if he tries to control who you see or demeans you, it's definitely not a good relationship. A real man gets what he wants without forcing. Talk things out or see a counsellor. If he turns violent, even once, make sure you're safe. Depending on the situation that might mean moving out, or calling the police, or telling someone what's happening - whatever you do, don't continue to suffer in silence, and don't accept abuse (physical or otherwise) in your relationship. Remember - he will come back, as loving as ever, and apologize again and again and again - and the violence escalates each time. Read How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship.

from WikiHow

Maintain Your Relationship

How to Maintain Romance

There is so much more involved in keeping romance alive than just candles, bubble baths, and foot massages. You each have to work at it in order to maintain and enjoy romance in your life.

Here is how to feed the romantic fires in your relationship in a deep and meaningful way.

Steps

1. Tell the truth.
Truth is the ultimate aphrodisiac and a great way to create connection with your partner. For example, you might say "I feel safe when I am with you" or
"Sometimes I feel scared that we get so busy with other things that we forget about creating close moments together, but I really want to be close with you."
ust share your true feelings and speak from your experience.
If you are concealing in your relationship, you will not feel connected, so consider making truth an ongoing priority in your life.

2. Appreciate yourself and your partner.
Appreciation means "to grow in value, or to be sensitively aware of."
Take time to understand just what it is that you like about yourself, and your partner. Saying for example,
"I am doing a good job as a parent by taking time to hug the kids in the morning before they go off to school." or
"I really appreciate how dedicated you are to your job."
Successful relationships have a 5 to 1 ratio of appreciations to criticisms, so if you really want to heat up your relationship, start appreciating!

3. Listen.
All humans crave being seen and heard. Being with your partner, and really listening to them can be magical for you both.
Often, we want to fix their problems, but it is much more powerful to listen. Saying, "Wow, I can understand you are frustrated." or
"That must have been hard on you." Let your partner know you're hearing them.

4. Create romance within yourself first.
We often try to "get" our partners to be more romantic by believing we need to change them in order to have what we want. The truth is that you are much more likely to have what you want when 'you' show up in that way.
For example, create your own romantic mood--dress, put on music, prepare sensuous foods, take some time to love and appreciate yourself. It will not take long for your partner to join in the fun!

5. Ask for what you want.
Let your partner know that you are deeply interested in spending some romantic time with them (You would be surprised at how often they are unaware of this.)
Whining, demanding, and manipulating are contrary to creating romance, so do your best to ask using kind and loving words.

6. Bring play back into your relationship.
Levity is a sexy thing. If you are stuck in thoughts of how much housework you have to do, or that you might wake the kids, more than likely you will not feel romantic. Laugh about the ways that you take your self out of a romantic mood, and soon, you will be back in it.

7. Speak your partner's love language.
We often become confused and disappointed by expecting the other person to do such and such romantic things. Do to your partner the things they like as well as you telling them what 'you' like, want, and expect. When you fulfill their needs and desires, you will end up receiving the same in return!

8. Accept each other unconditionally, respect each others wishes and dislikes.
Keep the mystery and fascination to each other. Love each moment as if it is the last.

Tips
* Communicate with your partner about what each of you wants in the area of romance, without making the other person feel wrong for their desires.
One may want less romance, the other may want more, however by communicating, each can have what they want, it just may not look the way you think it is supposed to.
For example, how could you create a romantic evening just for yourself? (This is a really powerful step to creating a life of joy!)

Warnings
* Many couples will subconsciously create an argument just when there is an opportunity for romance. This happens because we have conditioned ourselves to avoid intimate connection. We are afraid of being hurt when we are most open and vulnerable, thus we shut down without even realizing we are doing it. When this happens, take notice, without judging yourself or your partner. Instead try once more to spark a connection by using the steps above.

* Being sarcastic with the one you love is not romantic or funny, unless both partners realize the mood.

from Wikihow

Long Distance Relationship

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work
Have you ever in this relationship? Or maybe you're in now, i hope, this article will work on you. It's hard enough to make local relationships work, but having miles, States, and sometimes even an ocean between you makes it even more difficult. However, successful long distance relationships can and do exist.

Here's how to give yours every chance to survive and thrive. Steps
1. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?"
2. Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible.
Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't have to be long, in-depth conversations (though those should occur sometimes). Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection, but while instant messaging and e-mails play a large role in long distance relationships, remember that they can in no way replace verbal communication. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget.(Even though phone calls might get a little too expensive, there are special cards if you are to call each other from different countries, there will be no problems with costs since it is very cheap. We highly recommend you get one of those cards, it will be a lot cheaper and from experience E-mail and instant messages makes it easier to misunderstand each other.) Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason.
In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!

3. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc.
Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.

4. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart.
If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it.
Read a certain book at the same time.
Stargaze while on you're on the phone.
Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too.
Find creative ways to bond.

5. Avoid the temptation to be controlling.
People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.


6. Talk about your future together.
Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

7. Know when to say good-bye.
While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you'll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. Either you'll decide to go your separate ways, or you'll get closer for having overcome another obstacle to your happiness together.

8. Remember things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.


Tips
* A long distance relationship is no different from a proximal relationship in that they both require a great deal of work, excellent communication, patience, sacrifice and understanding. But you will have to work extra hard to maintain the communication and to stay focused enough to not let your daily life interfere with your desire to be with the other person. Don't forget them or you can forget the relationship and it will all be over.

* One of the hardest parts of a long distance relationship is connecting when one person gets busier than the other. If this happens in a relationship it is important to maintain communication. If you are the busy person, try to warn your partner ahead of time that you will be working many hours and may have limited time. If you are the not-as-busy person, take advantage of the time by picking up a new hobby, getting in shape, reading a new book, etc. Flexibility is very important.

* It helps to have a solid time in the future for when the long distance part of the relationship will end, no matter the time length. Without it, the relationship can begin to mold into something that is always distant - even with great communication. With it, each person can see the point at which the distance will end and work harder to keep emotions readily available.

* When talking to your partner, take note of things they enjoy the most (hobbies, day-to-day activities, etc.), and do a little research on it so you have more to do when you see them next. For example: If your partner likes to dance, find the location of different clubs where you will see them next. If you don't know how to dance, take lessons and you will impress them by your willingness to make an effort on their behalf.

* Buy a game that you can play together over the internet, such as a MMORPG (massively multi-player online role playing game). You will be able to chat while playing and it will give a greater feeling of togetherness.
* Mail each other scented clothes.
* Send each other spontaneous ecards.
* Make a creative countdown and mail it to your partner to enjoy until you see each other next. For example, create a photo calendar, with something you add for each day to describe what you love about them.
* Do not set unreasonable expectations for your visit. Fantasizing about the visit is fine, but not out loud or by email to your partner. Instead, enjoy the excitement of the surprises to come.
* The Long Distance Relationship Guidebook is a well-balanced, practical book for couples in long distance relationships who need some guidance.
* Buy a webcam so you can chat face to face and see each other, so when you meet you will remember what they look like.
* Consider the fact that living far apart gives you both a chance to grow as individuals. Some couples break up to "find themselves", but in a long distance relationship you both have enough space to do your own things and still have a connection.

Warnings
* Remember, every kind of relationship takes hard work and dedication to your loved one or partner, whether it's long distance or proximal. If you and your partner are willing to take these steps, then expect bumps and turns in the road. These bumps and turns will only help contribute towards a relationship.
* Long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart. They can be very trying - but so can proximal relationships.
* Long distance relationships can and will test you and your partner; you need to trust him/her entirely as paranoia can play a major part in the demise of your relationship. Also, these kinds of relationships can bring a lot of disappointment and heartache--depending on the time you spend away from each other it is VERY important that if you want this relationship to work you must make a great effort not to drift apart.
* Long distance relationships are difficult, as you are emotionally attached to a person you cannot touch or comfort (hug, kiss, hold hands), and this can hurt your heart and wreak havoc with your emotions. The only way to make these relationships work is if you and your partner honestly believe you will be able to survive without each other for a considerable amount of time without the need or desire to be with someone else.

from wikihow

Forgiveness in your marriage or relationship

Forgiveness and Letting Go in Your Marriage or Relationship

Being able to forgive and to let go of past hurts is a critical tool for a marriage relationship.

Additionally, being able to forgive is a way to keep yourself healthy both emotionally and physically.


Health Aspects of Forgiving
If you hold on to old hurts, disappointments, petty annoyances, betrayals, insensitivity, and anger, you are wasting both your time and your energy. Nursing a perceived hurt can eventually make it in to something more - hate and extreme bitterness.
Lack of forgiveness can wear you down.
Additionally, being unforgiving is not good for either our physical and mental well being.

How to Forgive
* Be open.

* Make a decision to forgive your spouse.

* When images of the betrayal or hurt flash in your mind, think of a calming place or do something to distract yourself from dwelling on those thoughts.

* Don't throw an error or mistake back in your spouse's face at a later date. Don't use it as ammunition in an argument.

* Don't seek revenge or retribution. It will only extend the pain.

* Accept that you may never know the reason for the transgression.

* Remember that forgiveness doesn't mean you condone the hurtful behavior.

* Be patient with yourself. Being able to forgive your spouse takes time. Don't try to hurry the process.

* If you continue to be unable to forgive, or you find yourself dwelling on the betrayal or hurt, please seek professional counseling to help you let go and forgive. Don't forget to praying for your marriage from your first time.

How to Ask for Forgiveness
* Show true contrition and remorse for the pain that you've caused.
* Be willing to make a commitment to not hurt your spouse again by repeating the hurtful behavior.
* Accept the consequences of the action that created the hurt.
* Be open to making amends.
* Be patient with your spouse. Being able to forgive you often takes time. Don't dismiss your spouse's feelings of betrayal by telling your spouse to "get over it."

Marriage Relationships Need Forgiveness

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has grumpy days. Many people say things they do not mean now and then.
Everyone needs to forgive and to be forgiven.

No relationship, especially a marriage relationship, can be sustained over a long period of time without forgiveness.

Even though you may find it find it difficult to forgive, being able to forgive is crucial in marriage.

Knowing When Enough is Enough (in relationship) If your spouse abuses you, continues to betray you, continues to lie to you, etc., then it may be time to say enough is enough and to end your relationship. In these situations, forgiveness for the past hurts may take longer and that is okay.

Knowing When Enough is Enough (in marriage) If your spouse abuses you, continues to betray you, continues to lie to you, etc., then it may be time to ask help from consultant or your spiritual leader.Don't forget to pray. By His grace, you will have more understanding about your self and your spouse, and how to make solution next time.

From Sheri & Bob Stritof, with additions in some parts.

How to end the relationship

1. Acknowledge that the relationship is really over. Come to terms with your own feelings and make a firm decision to end the relationship.

2. Don't delay the inevitable. Once you decide to break up with your partner, immediately think about how, when and where you will take action.

3. Make sure you're the one who personally delivers the news. Don't give a third party the opportunity to tell your partner that you want to break up before you have the chance to discuss the matter alone.

4. Select a private place to meet with your partner to end the relationship.

5. Find or schedule an appropriate time. Approach the topic when both of you are calm and rational. Don't announce your intention to break up during a heated argument or a moment of anger.

6. Show your resolve by being firm, decisive and honest. Help your partner understand why you want to end the relationship. Be tactful, not brutal.

7. Remind your partner that you'll never forget the positive qualities in your relationship, but emphasize that you're ready to move on with your life.

8. Give your partner the closure that he or she needs to accept the breakup; answer questions and talk it over instead of leaving loose ends.

9. Stay positive as you both make plans to go your separate ways.

How to say "i love you"

Just want to help you How to Say I Love You

Although many people use this powerful phrase loosely, there are times when you want to say "I love you" in a meaningful way. Whether you're professing your love to a romantic partner or expressing it to a relative or friend, it can be difficult to convey how much they really mean to you. Love reflects the intensity of how you feel. But by keeping the following suggestions in mind, hopefully your love will not only be understood, but it will also be welcomed and returned.

STOP BEING A WIMP

1. Define love
The sincerity of the phrase is strengthened by knowing what love is, and what loving someone means to you.

Determine the difference between love, infatuation and lust, and make sure it's genuine love that you feel for this person.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. For every christian, those words may seem so familiar. But, what are we're talking is, do you act like that?

2. Make it special.
For many people, dropping the "I" allows the sentiment to be expressed casually, such as before separating (e.g. "Time to go. Bye! Love you!"). Using the full phrase, however, can be reserved for more intimate moments, especially during a special event, such as when a child is just born, or even to reassure someone when bad news has been received or during moments of cherished silence, like after a kiss.

3. Make eye contact.
If you love this person, hopefully you feel comfortable enough to gaze into their eyes when you express your feelings. Making eye contact shows sincerity and communicates trust.

4. Say it at an appropriate tone.
If you're at home and there's not much background noise, keep your volume low; don't whisper unless you bring your lips to their ear, which can also be a very intimate way to express your love. If you want to tell them how you feel in public, it's up to you whether you want to pull the person aside, or say it in front of friends or even strangers. It depends on your loved one's personality, and your own personality. Some will find it terribly romantic to be told they're loved across a room full of people; others may find it mortifying.

5. Smile.
It can be nerve-wracking to tell someone that you love him or her, only to wait anxiously for their response--especially if it's the first time either of you have verbally expressed love. The best way to overcome this fear is to not expect the phrase in return. Your intention can be to tell the person how you feel, with the hope of making them happy and showing them that they are valued. Remember that unconditional love means not demanding anything in return. So smile, and perhaps give your loved one a hug. If they love you, too, they'll say it in their own way and in their own time.

6.Be creative.
Say it in different languages. Write it into a poem or even a haiku. If you want to be romantic, spell it out with rose petals on his or her bedroom floor. Write it in code, like 1337 or using a Vigènere cipher. Say it in little ways, like post-it notes in unexpected places, and express it in every way you can.

7. Love.
Don't just say it, do it. Love is not just a feeling; it's an action.

Saying it without showing it is, in a way, a lie. Express your love in action as well as in words.

Children can show love for their parents by cleaning up their room without being asked. A person can send flowers to their partner in the middle of the week for no particular reason other than to show love. Acts of kindness for the one you love, without being asked, speak louder than words. Do things for your loved ones that they are not willing, likely or able to do for themselves.


Tips
* Holding someone's hand as you tell them you love them can also communicate sincerity and trust, but it can also convey a sense of subterfuge, which at a glance may suffice but will quickly be sniffed out by someone with a careful eye for lies; ergo, do not hold hands if you don't mean it.
* Love does not keep score. When you love someone, do not expect anything in return. There's a difference between love and bartering... "I will do this for you if you will do that for me." But always remember if you are asking something of your partner be willing to do it yourself. Don't always expect that he/she understands what you need, be open and willing to express yourself.
* Love is expressed differently by everyone. Be understanding and look for your partner's ways of expressing it to you; they may not be the same as you do or what you want them to do, but in turn you may not be doing the things the want and they should look for your way.


Warnings
* If love is unrequited, you need to be understanding and be caring towards the feelings of the object of your desire. At least they now know how you feel. It is not good to bottle up your feelings.
* Saying "I love you" in the heat of passion for the first time might not be a good idea, as the person may question the sincerity of your pledge. Follow them up with actions of kindness.
* The words "I love you" can lose their meaning in a relationship if used excessively and loosely, and if not paired with action.
* If you truly love that person then don't hurt her/him in any way whatsoever as it gives a negative impression that you are forcing them to love you.
* It is important to pay attention to the things on this list that enhance the phrase. Our language today is peppered with "love," "hate," etc. when describing things that aren't really deserving. This leads to the word "love" itself meaning less than it should. Remember, you are using simple, over-used words to communicate a very powerful emotion. It is important that other techniques are used to enhance this phrase, or else it merely comes across as trite.

-from wiki, with addition in some parts.

Women fall in love with men that treat them like dirt ?

Why do women fall in love with men that treat them like dirt but dump the men who treat them like queens?

Although this often looks like the case, know that there are women out there that do not stand for men to treat them badly and love the man they have that treat them as equal. (That may also be a problem in its self that most women like to be treated as an equal as opposed to like dirt OR a queen - you may need to tune your affection down as women often like to nurture and serve their men (not be a slave though) as these two traits seem natural to them.

Answer

"The demand to be safe in relationship inevitably breeds sorrow and fear. This seeking for security is inviting insecurity. Have you ever found security in any of your relationships? Have you? Most of us want the security of loving and being loved, but is there love when each one of us is seeking his own security, his own particular path?"

IN SIMPLE TERMS:

It is hard for one to feel good about themselves when the only thing they are used to is being treated like crap. When something good comes along they get frightened. They become unsure of what to do. They choose, becuase of their fear, to go with the things they know. (I.E. Men that treat women like crap.)

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Make Romantic Dreams come True

Are you having the romantic life you have always wanted…in your imagination? Many people who feel and live exactly the way you do!

Romance is always simple and carefree when it is being acted out in our imaginations. We can come up with the most unbelievable and breathtaking ideas and play scenes that make the best romantic movies look amateur. The only catch to all this however, is that they are developed in our fantasies and stay there, without ever actually taking place in our real lives. Why is that? Why is it so easy for us to fantasize about the most amazing romances, but can never find such romances that really exist? Does it just not happen? Is there no such thing?romantic dream No, there is no such thing as a romantic dream come true…until you create its existence.

That’s right, you carry the key that will open the magical door to making all of your romantic dreams come true. What did you expect to find out? That someday an invisible wand will be waved over you, miraculously bringing you and your meant to be honey together? Well, if that is what you are counting on and waiting for, prepare to keep on waiting! Do not get the wrong idea here, of course there are situations where two people meet and have an instant connection, but things do not just stop there. Many make a mistake in believing that once they found someone they make a great connection with, everything else will fall into place perfectly and all of their romantic fantasies will come true automatically. If you want your fantasies to become a reality, then you must introduce them to reality. Our partners are not mind readers, yet we tend to believe they are, expecting them to act out and the things we picture them doing in our imaginations.

You do not necessarily have to ask your partner to act a certain way or do a certain thing, but you can introduce your romantic ideas by starting to act them out yourself. This will paint a clear picture for your partner, helping him or her see what kind of romantic personality you have, and what you enjoy. You will also learn more about your partner, because you will see their response to your romantic suggestions, which is why is it extremely important that you do this at the beginning of your dating process, or in the beginning of your relationship.

If you do not, you could very well be setting yourself up for deep disappointment. Romantic Dreams come true when you make an effort to never settle or anything else than what your genuine expectations are from a person. This does not mean you should never compromise however, for nobody will every perfect, including yourself, so keep in mind that there will be times where you will need to find a middle ground with your lover. Not settling for less is meant more on an obvious level.

For example, if your romantic dream is to find a partner who loves long walks on the beach and going out for fancy dining and intimate picnics, then do not even bother getting seriously involved with a person who loves staying at home all the time or going out to loud parties with his or her friends. You will only be frustrated later. Many people choose to get involved with a person who never really fulfilled their romantic expectations from the start, but feel that things will change as their relationship proceeds. This is a mistake often made and one you should avoid making if you ever wish to live the romance of your dreams. Though people can be unpredictable, a persons hobbies and lifestyle can usually be determined in the early stages of dating…after about between 3 and 6 dates. You will be able to observe from your dates if a person carries the qualities you are in search for by paying attention to where they choose to take you on your dates, the way they speak to you, as well as all the other little things that are important to you. It is important that you are also open and honest about your hobbies, lifestyle and romantic qualities so that your date also starts to learn who you really are as a person and can also decided whether or not they feel you are someone they wish to continue dating. If you do not wish to be misled, then do not mislead others either! Living the romantic life of your dreams is indeed very possible, but requires time, patience and most importantly, being honest with others and yourself about who you really are and what you really want. Accomplishing true romance can only happen when you express yourself freely and confidently.

Remember, no one can read your mind and there will be no magical wand that will wave over you. Fate will play a part in who you end up committing to and settling down with, but according for fate to do so, you have to help it out by showing it exactly what it is you are looking for. Fate is like a dating service in a way- in order for it to help you find the right person, you need to give it an honest description of what you are looking for and what you are also not interested it.

Once you have done so, stick to it without settling for something you know you will not be 100% satisfied with. In time, you will be living your romantic dream come true with a person who feels the same and the two of you will have the wonderful relationship you have been searching for.
Good luck to you
from love session.com, recomposed by Yunike Andreas