Romance on a budget

One of the most common topics in arguments between couples is money. Worrying about having enough money to care for your family’s needs can put a huge burden on your shoulders, and that financial burden leads to enormous stress. Focusing on the stress of finances can oftentimes knock relationship priorities off the top of the list. We have to remember that our marriages are the cornerstone of our frugal families. If we fail to take care of our relationships, then all the frugalness in the world won’t matter anymore. It makes sense then that frugal couples need to be mindful of the state of their marriages and the quality of their time together. Always make sure that time for romance and your relationship are a top priority, no matter what is going on in your budget! You have the power to foster love and rekindle the romance in your marriage right now, and it doesn’t take a lot of money to make that happen. I believe that husband and wife date nights are a great way to stay connected. You can keep romance alive on a small budget, or even no budget, when you focus on the things that really make your spouse feel loved, valued, and appreciated. Plan fun things to do together such as an indoor picnic or an at-home romantic dinner for two. Or what about taking an evening stroll holding hands and talking about your day? If you have little ones and you can't seem to find the time to really talk but you also can't afford a babysitter, you might consider going on a romantic nighttime drive. This is a date even the kids will like (before they fall asleep, that is)! Have the kids get dressed in their jammies and bring their pillows and blankies into the car. Go for a nighttime drive (the kids will fall asleep) together to talk about non-kid topics. Load up your favorite romantic music or even “your song”, and drive to a scenic lookout point where you can see the city and stare out at the stars together. You don’t need to have a special occasion to make plans for a romantic date with your husband or wife. Keeping regular free and cheap dates on your weekly schedule serves to strengthen your relationship and keep your intimacy strong in a fun way. Spending time together doesn't have to cost a lot, just use your imagination and you can keep your romance alive on a budget!
-- Danelle Barbi Ice from Homemakerbarbi

Romantic Getaway

Know what not to do on a romantic getaway : about some tips on what you should do to make have a memorable trip whether it’s the trip of a lifetime or simply a night of escape.

Make sure you relax and try new things!

1. Forget the diet- You don’t have to indulge in every "All You Can Eat" buffet but remember that you are on vacation.^^ This isn’t the time to skip the local delicacies or race around trying to squeeze in gym time. Odds are if you are touring around you are burning off plenty of calories walking and exploring. Make time for yourself but don’t miss out on doing something spectacular because you are in the hotel gym.

2. Be adventurous- Try new things, new foods, and new adventures. No one here knows who you are and you will not see these people again. This isn’t an excuse for bad behavior but it might be an excuse for bad karaoke. Having the time of your lives.

Go ahead and show expression... you're on vacation!

3. Be bold- Leave your inhibitions at home. This is a chance to explore your relationship and reconnect. In early stages of dating people always love to ask questions about each other and test limits. It’s never too late to play truth or dare or even strip poker.

Turn off the TV and talk. If you aren't sure what to say than buy one of those games that involve asking each other questions or conversation cards. They'll get you headed in the right direction.

4. Be expressive- Play games and unleash the child within. While on your romantic retreat challenge each other at go cart racing, rock climbing, putt putt golf or anything. Remember the simple pleasure of strolling along a lake and skipping rocks or checking out the local candy shop. If you are in the right mood a trip to Walmart with a digital camera can be a blast!

Love is everwhere if you know where to look.

5. Take the road not travelled- On vacation it’s always great to leave the beaten path behind and check out what else there is to see. When you do this with the one you love you are making an invaluable memory to share. My husband and I were wandering through Rome when we saw that a church was having a concert. We thought “Why not?” and went on in. The church was a cathedral and completely breathtaking. We sat in the back and listened to a choir that had been flown in from the states. It definitely made for one of our most vivid and amazing memories of the whole trip.

6. Stick with classics- Yes, it may seem cheesy at first to take that gondola ride and be serenaded or to share a plate of spaghetti in Rome. But these romantic standbys are classics for a reason. Sometimes stereotypes aren’t bad. Go ahead and head to New England for a cozy bed and breakfast to see the leaves in all their glory. Book a trip to lie along the Caribbean ocean. But also….

Make time to enjoy the sunsets.

7. Know your lover- My husband gets terribly sunburned in a short time and can’t stand the heat. So we rarely make plans for tropical vacations unless there is a lot of water activities for him and other options in case he gets overly toasty. Think about what your partner loves and plan the trip around them. If they love art, head to Paris to visit the Louvre. Are they adventurous, think about an African Safari. Romance is about filling a fantasy… not just a location.

8. Go the distance- Sure you are already in an intimate bed and breakfast but go ahead and serve your partner breakfast in bed. Little details make the trip even more memorable. Fill a bubble bath, cover the bed in rose petals, or plan a candlelit picnic. It truly is the thought that counts and the extra planning and scheming makes a world of difference!

Don't just go where everyone does, explore on your own.

9. Splurge a little- Don’t throw your budget away but upgrade to a nicer room if you can afford it. Try the fancy restaurant. Take the nighttime cruise along the waterway. You never know if you will get this opportunity again so take advantage of it fully. While you are splurging, don’t hold back with your words. Many couples stop telling each other what they love about each other because they think their partner knows. A vacation is the perfect time to remind your partner what they mean to you.

10. Stop and smell the roses- Almost all tourists rush around with a long to do list of places they must see and things they must buy. Give each other at least a day to simply relax. Wander the streets. Lay on the beach. Or don’t even leave the hotel room. Make sure you stop rushing around long enough to look at the person standing next to you and focus on them.

--written by Angelina Lee

Here are some place you must "check it out!!" ^^ :

-France

-Japan

-Bali

-Barcelona

-Beijing

-Dubai

-England

-Hong Kong

-Israel

-South Korea

-New York

-Tokyo

Obsessive Girlfriend

Avoid Being an Obsessive Girlfriend
One of the most amazing traits in women is our ability to submerge ourselves into the man of our desire.
Women become attached emotionally, some very quickly, and assume that the man shares these same feelings and desires. However, this can be a sure fire way to push the "man of your dreams" out of your life.

1. Accept him. Only by accepting him as he is, do you have such deep respect and gratitude for him that you would never want him to change in any way for you. He has so much to offer you if only you give him the space to be himself.

2. Give him space. If he wants to hang out with friends, encourage it. Let him know that you want him to have a good time and to spend as much time with them as he'd like.
(Then follow step 4.) If you have to, fake it. There are times when you would really rather spend that time with your man than have him out with his friends, however forcing him to spend time with you results in his pulling further away. If you're able to encourage and support his time away it will reinforce his belief that you want what is best for him, and in the long run it will strengthen your relationship. Patience is the key here. One's got to believe that in the long run he will surely appreciate it.

3. Take time for yourself. Visit friends, family, take a class, anything you find interesting or would like to learn. Do this even if you have to tear yourself away from your man. He should be supportive of you, and encourage your interests, too. Focusing only on the one you love isn't living; it's also about personal growth and experiencing new things. Taking time for yourself isn't selfish. If you aren't the best person you can be, then you can't expect to be the person you need to be for your significant other.

4. Keep your hobbies and friends. All of us tend to become obsessive at the beginning of a relationship. The key to a healthy relationship is balance. Couples need time apart to reestablish their individual identities. Remind yourself of who you are by reconnecting with friends/relatives, or picking up those old hobbies you've been setting aside. Suggest that he do the same. This is a simple way to show him that you are confident and interesting (even if you don't feel very confident or interesting). Suggest to him that he go out with his friends while you visit with yours. Or even suggest he work on his hobby or interest while you take time for yours.

5. Set up days or times to reconnect after spending time apart. This is simple and very effective. After asking for time apart, set up a time and day to reconnect. For instance, if one of you wants to hang out with friends for the day, suggest that you could meet him later for dinner. Or suggest a time the following day, and an activity, in which the both of you could get together. This gives both people in the relationship permission to enjoy their time apart, while also giving each of you a grounding point, or rather a reassurance in knowing you will see the other person and they wish to see you.

6. Reaffirm who you are and why you are special. Do those things that you do best. If you're not sure, try everything. If you're feeling less than confident, or insecure in your relationship, sometimes it helps to go back to something that created a sense of accomplishment. Don't look for confidence from your partner, find it within yourself. To do this, seek out those things at which you can succeed.

7. Suggest he take time for his hobbies and interests. The key is to allow him to choose by assuring him you want to spend time with him, but letting him know you understand the importance of his hobbies and interests, too. Let him know that you can and will find activities to occupy yourself while he enjoys his time. This frees him from feeling guilty for taking that time for himself. You create a bonding situation by suggesting that the both of you go to stores that are of interest to him. For example, if he enjoys video games, suggest a trip to the video game store. Help him look for games he wants, or maybe is interested in. Then give him space to use those games.

8. Know when to back off. Learn his body language. Ask questions. Listen to what he is saying. Men don't always come out and say how they feel, and may not tell you even if you ask. Listen to what your gut instinct is telling you. If you feel he is pulling away, don't force yourself on him more. A woman's tendency is to be clingier at this point. The problem is it drives men away. A possible solution involves letting him know you are available when he wants, while finding other things to do with your time, or discuss the situation with him.

Tips

* Hang up the phone. If you're calling him 24 hours a day, stop. In worst case scenarios, turn your phone off. It's okay to call and see how his day is, but if you're calling every couple of hours, this could reinforce his belief that you have nothing else going on in your life. People are attracted to interesting people. If your only interest is him, then he's going to lose interest in you. Some ideas to refrain from grabbing the phone are: Call a friend, take a nap, go for a walk and pick flowers for him, learn something new that you can discuss with him later, learn more about his hobbies/interests through research.

* Start a journal. Write your feelings, not what you did during the day. Try to discover why you feel a certain way. Insecurity often leads people to act in ways that men would describe as crazy. If you're worried about losing him, dig deep into why you feel that way. Not how is he acting, but why YOU are concerned about losing him. Fear of being alone? Fear of rejection? A journal is a place where you can explore your thoughts and feelings without having to set them in stone. It should be an area where you can express every possible emotion without fearing recrimination. Once on paper, re-examine it, does it still sound true to you? What can you do so that you won't fear rejection or loneliness, and can become more confident in who you are? Oh, and make sure he doesn't find it. It could turn into a sticky situation.

* Stop following him when you aren't together. Don't follow him when he says he's going to a friend's house so that you can check up on him. This is an instant message to him that you don't trust him. Men aren't stupid; they see your car parked down the street.

* Create situations that have an ending point. For instance, you want to hang out with him during the afternoon, ask him if he's interested and then suggest that after the outing he can drop you off at your house. This gives him the freedom to decide if he would like to spend the rest of the evening with you, instead of feeling as if he's trapped into spending it with you.

* Communication. Ask questions and then listen. Clarify anything you may not understand by asking questions.

* Quality time, not quantity time. Use the time you do have together wisely. Ask yourself if you'd rather have 8 hours of mediocre time with him, or 2 hours of fantastic time together.

* Trust. Obsessive behavior usually stems from a feeling of mistrust. Unfortunately trust can only be built over time, but you must have a basis to build from. If you don't feel you can trust him while he is away, discuss this with him. Also, ask yourself why you feel this way. What is he doing to cause this mistrust in you? Is it his actions, or are you drawing from past experiences? What can you do to help yourself face this fear?

* Approach all arguments or discussions with an open mind. Be willing to listen and understand his side.

* Remember that each relationship is different, and no two people are alike.

* In general, without realizing it, we tend to be attracted to people who show the better qualities that are within human beings. Love, beauty, courage, kindness, confidence, trust, honesty and friendliness are some of these qualities and there are many more. When we live out our best qualities, we tend to be attracted to and we attract others who do the same. We tend to want to avoid people who live out some of the worse qualities. When was the last time you were attracted to bitterness, meanness and cruelty in a person?

* Dont instantly say yes to every one of his ideas. You will seem desperate, but instead say no, and casually suggest something or wait for another one of his. Doing this will seem as if you want to spend time with him, but are still enjoying your own life as well.

* Seek help if you are in an abusive situation, or if you find that your infatuation with this person is consuming your life.

* Letting him have his space to do things like be with his friends doesn’t give him permission to pursue other women.

* Setting a "curfew" of when a man is supposed to be home or is supposed to check in is extremely controlling behavior. As you probably know, when you're out with your friends, time flies and the last thing on your mind is the time. You are not his mother, and asking him to keep checking his watch all night while he's trying to have fun just makes you something to resent. He should, instead, have his fun so that he can recharge his batteries and look forward to seeing you.

* Men don't "get a life" by dating. You shouldn't, either. Your life should be interesting and full on its own. If you're not genuinely going out and having fun with your friends without obsessing about him, your insecurities are controlling your life.

* Don't be his go-to girl, just because he cannot find anything else to do. Be smart. Be real.

* If staying out late with his friends is about more than just getting in some guy time—remember: you can’t force love. If what you have isn’t meant to be, no amount of angry outbursts over his guy-time will make your relationship work.

* All of these suggestions should not be tried from the point of view that these will fix a relationship that isn't working by "making" someone have more feelings. Relationships are built on feelings for the other person, and love comes only from loving.
If you find yourself following these suggestions in order to elicit a specific response, then it could be because you're wanting to make the other person feel and in turn, show you feelings they might not have. If you're wondering what you can do to make someone have more feelings for you, the answer is confidently being yourself without needing him. Ask yourself, 'What is it really that attracts you to this person? - the person, themselves, or one or two qualities they have.

* Never just assume that your boyfriend is cheating on you and start checking up on him. That is very annoying, and you will be very embarrassed if he isn't after all. Not only that, but if you are insistent, don't be surprised if he then begins to cheat - both because you don't trust him and because he wants to get away from you.

* Don't be clingy. Men who are starting to feel serious about a girl may start to pull away and make sure. If you're too clingy during this important time, you might chase him away just as he's about to commit.wikihow.com

Tips For Guys

Improve Your Scent
Author: Julian Foxx

It is time to talk about hygiene guys.
According to scientific data, women choose their mates due
to perceived strength of the man's immune system. It can
also give a better chance of survival to her offspring.
Recent research also suggests that the SCENT of a man
determines his immune system's strength.

You may wonder how it all relates to dating. Well it is one
of the factors that gives a high impact to the level of
success you have with women. Some factor could be your
posture, social circle, fashion sense, and of course your
looks.

The point here is that there's no point mastering every dating skill if you are still funky or something. So here's something to work on yourself. Its a bit risky and well, scary but it will be worth it.

First find someone you can trust with and ask them you need a serious favor. Then make them swear that they would be completely honest with you. After that, get close to them
- really close - and exhale directly into their face without warning them. You don't have to 'blow' into their face but make sure you go "hhhhaaaaaahhh, " right from the
back of your throat.

Important that you know the truth. Ask your friend to rate your breath and body odor on a scale of 1-10 - with 10 being the highest - so as to get an honest answer. That
way, you'll get a more honest answer.

Here are your dating tips for a real fresh breath aside from listerine, flossing, and brushing:
1. Use a tonge scraper - get the ones that are long and wirey looking and not the ones that are attached to a toothbrush.

2. Mint-a-sure - these are little capsules you swallow that gives you fresh breath from the belly. If they are not available in your local drugstore, get them online. You don't have to chew a gum with these ones.

For a Great Smelling Hair:

3. There are a lot of known good brands of shampoo and conditioner for men. But it will not be effective for you unless you really scrub it into your scalp with your fingers.

For a Great Smelling Body:

4. Use a loofa or exfoliating gloves in the shower along with soap and then a body wash.

5. Baby wipes - use them after you take a crap. You might hesitate on this one but girls will feel a lot better about putting her mouth where the sun don't shine.

6. If you have an underarm odor issua, try shaving (or trimming) your armpits. They'll not only look better but will help in your anti-perspirant. The armpit hair is functioning as a barrier to your anti-perspirant also.

7. Then again, if underarm odor is an issue, you can also use prescription strenth anti-perspirant like Certain Dri. Apply it before going to bed but make sure not to put too
much of it.

Applying these dating tips will not only increase our success rate with women but will also make us smell better to the people around us. Also, when we do these, we'll know
that we smell great and that's a confidence booster for all of us. In the pickup artist and dating community, confidence is one of their secrets. So we should have it with ourselves as well.

About the Author: Julian Foxx is considered by many to be the fastest Rising Star in the pickup artist and dating community. His jaw dropping effectiveness with women is matched only by his ability to innovate powerful new techniques, giving their user a ridiculously unfair advantage. To discover cutting edge dating tips for guys check out http://www.julianfo xx.com

Healthy Approach to Finances in Your Relationship

If you've ever been in a relationship for very long, especially if you were married it is almost a guarantee that you've had a money fight. One of the biggest causes of problems in relationships is differences in values and goals and habits when it comes to money, and especially communication about money issues.

Money can't buy you love, but it sure can tear it apart.

The crux of this article is to learn how to talk about money, and learn to align your financial goals. If you can do those two things, you've done more than most couples, and you've done a lot to keep your relationship on solid ground.

1. Sit down and talk about financial goals and values. Many couples often neglect this step, even if it seems obvious and commonsense. But because talking about finances can be uncomfortable, many couples leave these important things unsaid, and often don't even think about it individually.
They have goals and values when it comes to money, but they're not examined. That's a mistake, as one person might want to be frugal in order to save for future goals, while the other might like to spend and enjoy things now, while the getting is good. The differences often come from different upbringings, and they can be emotionally charged (see next step for more on this). It doesn't have to be difficult, though, and it might take a few meetings to get to actual written goals, with a time frame for each, but that's where you want to be eventually.

* Each person should have a budget (formal or crude, either one) of what their income and expenses are before going into the discussion. Spend some time going over your past 3 months of expenses and income to prepare a good overview of what and where are your expenses. Make sure to include those $5 lattes every morning, and the high-grade gasoline instead of the cheap stuff, and be prepared to calmly explain the justification for things that your partner may not readily see the value in! (And be prepared to invest in a latte machine - or whatever it takes to help make the compromises successful.)

* Tell your partner you'd like to sit down and have a talk about the future — what your goals are and how you can work together, as a team, to achieve them. Start by spitting out the things each of you want — a house, kids, college education for the kids, a healthy emergency fund, nice cars, travel each year, nice clothes, gadgets and computers, etc.

* Then prioritize, and see if you can come up with things in common. If you want different things, it is important that you talk about why, and consider the other person's desires. If that's what makes the other person happy, you should want to make them happy - that's the basis of a good relationship. But relationships aren't one-sided, either, so you should be able to be happy too. The point is that both sides should be considered, and you should look for a win-win solution or compromise so that you can both be happy.

* Discuss how you will handle assets and debts that were accumulated before the relationship began. If you are married in the U.S., your spouse's creditors can hold you legally responsible and pursue your assets if you don't keep your finances completely separated, or if you ever get divorced. Plus, your spouse's credit score will affect your ability to get joint credit, which is often necessary for large purchases (such as a home). So if you're married, the best route is to work together to pay off debt as quickly as possible, avoiding late payments. If you're planning on getting married soon, a pre-nuptial agreement can help protect one person's assets from the other person's creditors.If you're not married, you may choose to treat individual debt as a shared expense, or you may not - the choice is yours as a couple.

2. Remove emotions from financial talk. From your first meetings about financial goals to your subsequent weekly talks (addressed in a later step), it's important that the two of you stay calm, don't get hurt or angry over any of the issues, and try to look at these issues objectively. Often financial issues are tied up in all kinds of emotional issues, stemming from childhood, from issues of security to feeling like your way is better, to feeling hurt if your way of spending is criticized in any way, and much more. These emotional issues are all tangled together with financial issues, and it's important that you untangle them and just deal with financial goals and habits:

* Don't use emotional, accusatory, or inflammatory language. Use nonviolent communication.
* Don't blame the other person or even be negatively critical.
* Simply talk about your financial goals, developing a plan for getting to those goals, developing a system for dealing with finances, and so forth.
* Also, try not to feel like you're under attack if the other person talks about your goals or habits — let this be an open discussion, and if you feel under attack, stop and take a breath and remember that this isn't a discussion about you personally but about how the two of you are going to meet your goals. Again, think of this as a team effort, not as a you-vs-me effort.

3. Come up with a plan to meet your goals. Once you're able to come up with common financial goals (a huge step - celebrate! Within your budget.), you will need a plan to get you there. This will take into account your joint income, your debt, your savings, how much you can put towards debt and/or saving each month, whether you want to cut back on certain things in order to meet your savings goals, how long you want to give yourself to meet financial goals, and so forth:

* Start by having a definite time frame for each goal, and then figure out how much you need to save (or pay towards debt) each month to get to your goals. Try to get into the habit of paying yourselves first.

* Create a spending plan (if you haven't already) for each month, and see if you can adjust it to meet that monthly goal. You might need to cut back on some things, or earn extra income, or both. Or you might discover that your goals aren't realistic and you need to cut back on them, reprioritize, or push them back a bit in order to meet them. This plan to meet your goals is how you will align your daily and monthly spending with your long-term goals. It's also a great way to resolve minor short-term disputes - for example, "you should definitely buy fewer shoes, and I should buy fewer video games, so we can buy that house in three years and travel to Europe in two years". Spending plans will evolve as time goes by -- this is inevitable; be prepared to adjust and adapt to your changing situations (promotion at work, unexpected expenses like constant car repairs indicating an upcoming major expense, etc.) as needed.

4. Develop a system for finances that works for both of you. It may take some trial, error and tweaking before you get it right. Keep in mind that no one arrangement is in any way "better" than the other. The best arrangement is the one that creates the most harmony in your relationship.

* Use the communal approach if you have very similar spending styles and saving goals. All of the income received by the couple goes into a single account, and all expenses come out of that single account. If you're not on the same page about spending, like if one person tends to make money decisions that the other person tends to disagree with, this approach can lead to frequent arguments. Communication, trust, and discipline are essential for this arrangement to work smoothly.

*Use the individual approach if you have different spending styles. Keep separate accounts to which your individual incomes are deposited. Put money into a joint account only for shared expenses. Decide what those shared expenses are going to be (usually rent or mortgage, utilities, etc.) and what proportion each partner will pay. You can each put in half of the expenses, or you may decide to contribute a percentage that's relative to your individual income (e.g. one person makes twice as much per year as the other, so one person puts twice as much towards the shared expenses as the other). The remainder of the money in each person's account is theirs to keep and spend or save however they wish.

* Use the allowance approach if it fits. This is a hybrid of the previous two arrangements. Put everything into a joint account, but then give each person an allowance to spend as they wish. The allowance can be in cash, or it can be transferred to individual accounts. Decide as a couple how much of an allowance each person should get. This works best for people who tend to spend money on different things, but who still want to pool their income.

5. Decide who will be handling the "administrative" aspects of your finances. In order to put your financial plan into action, you'll need to figure out how you're going to pay your bills, pay debt, deposit into savings, have money for various spending needs (like gas and groceries and eating out), and so forth. Someone will have to take responsibility for each part of the system (it's better if you're both involved, but you should find what works best for you as a couple). Usually there's one person who's more inclined to do the bookkeeping, and sometimes he or she doesn't mind carrying this responsibility. Otherwise, you'll need to define and assign responsibility. One person might go to the bank while the other updates your financial program (like Quicken or Money) or your checking register to make sure you're in balance, for example.

* If one person will be handling the finances more than the other, what is his or her responsibility in consulting with the other before, say, moving money into the savings account or IRA?

* If the person who normally handles these tasks can't do it (e.g. medical issue, away on a trip, etc.) does the other person know enough about the process to step in?


6. Have weekly financial meetings. This is very important, and it's a step that many couples overlook. Just because you have common financial goals and a plan and a system doesn't mean that everything is fine. If one person takes responsibility for the finances, for example, and the other is out of the loop, there will likely be problems down the road. You don't want to be in the situation where one partner took care of the finances and the other was blissfully ignorant...until it was revealed that they were way behind on payments and would soon have to file for bankruptcy. That isn't a good time in a relationship!
To prevent problems like this, have a weekly meeting where you sit down and talk about finances. You can review your accounts, your spending plan, what is coming up in the next few weeks that you'll need to budget for, any problem areas, what to do with your annual bonus, where you are with your goals, and so forth. Make sure you're both caught up on everything, and that you're working well as a team.

7. Adapt as needed. You may need to adjust the allowances or proportions if a big expense arises, like one person loses a job, or suffers from a major illness or injury, or even takes up a new (and expensive) interest or hobby. For instance, let's say a couple uses the communal approach, and then one partner decides to take up golfing again.

The couple may decide that the best way to accommodate this is to designate a "golfing allowance" so that one partner knows exactly how much the other partner is going to be spending on this hobby, and there are no surprises ("You spent how much on that golf club?!?"). (In the golfing example, additional expenses could be drawn from the person's personal allowance.) Many couples modify their arrangement significantly as their circumstances change. A couple may, for example, start off with the individual approach, then transition into the communal approach when they start a family or make a large investment together.


8. Above all, stay positive and be honest. Remember: you're a team. You have the same goals and you want each other to be happy. Team members can help each other out and encourage each other, or they can rip the team apart by being negative, by blaming, by working against common goals. If you always stay positive, you'll succeed as a team. Be encouraging, stay focused on solutions not blame, and make sure love is the foundation of everything you do.

Tips

* No matter how you choose to handle your finances as a couple, you should talk about and dedicate money to an emergency fund of three to six months' worth of living expenses.

* Just because you have individual accounts doesn't mean you don't trust one another. Sometimes it's not convenient to discuss every single purchase in real time, and this can occasionally lead to misunderstandings and even overdraft fees at the bank. It's possible to make individual accounts into joint accounts so that you can see each other's financial activities, but agree not to use money from the other person's designated account without discussing it first, or unless it's an emergency.
---www.wikihow.com with some changes in some part

The right man for me?

Perhaps you have been dating a man who seems to be very caring, loving & supportive. You wonder & want to seek relationship advice, "Is he the right man for me?"

How do you know if Mr. Right is going to be that man who will be willing to commit to a meaningful relationship & is a person who you can feel comfortable with for the rest of your life?

Here are a few guidelines that might help you make that decision.

When relationships begin, each person is putting on their best face. Of course we don't want the other person to know that down deep inside of us, we are really insecure & have characteristics about ourself that we keep hidden. It is not until the relationship becomes committed or the legal binding of marriage occurs that it is safe to begin to allow that aspect to surface, with less fear that your partner is going to leave you. This is true for everyone on some level, whether one is conscious or unconscious about those insecurities.

It is common for that shadow side to surface after a commitment is made in the relationship, leaving feelings of disappointment. The biggest flaws will be the deepest hidden. There are qualities of a man to look for that will let you know that your man is capable of sustaining a healthy relationship. And this indeed forms the relevant part of relationship advice.

How does your man handle conflict or resolve differences?

Does he become quiet and refuse to discuss the problem?
Or is he willing to communicate about the differences & help to resolve the situation in a loving way?

Communication is essential to a successful relationship. If your man shows signs of withdrawing, pouting, or becomes angry when a conflict arises, it is a major sign of emotional immaturity.

Both partners need to be able to address a problem by sharing their views & emotions without blaming the other. You cannot resolve a problem if he refuses to talk about it or isn't emotionally connected well enough to know what he is feeling. If there is no possibility of conflict, then perhaps the intimacy in the relationship may not be easily established. That doesn't mean that conflict is necessary, but it does mean that he should be willing to take the initiative to openly discuss difficult/controversial subjects & move out of any conflicting situation very easily. The relationship will then deepen.

Does your man value your happiness?

A successful relationship is maintained by both the partners by respecting & honoring their love by committing to each other's best interests. If you are with a man who doesn't cherish your love, but is only concerned with his own happiness, be very wary. He should be willing to go beyond his own self interests & see the worth of honoring those values that you aspire to & hold dear. If you value financial responsibility then his life should show his commitment to a job & being sensible with debt. And if family values are important to you then he must spend maximum time with the family. The relationship advice will be that your happiness must be his priority.

Is your man considerate?

A man should be dependable. Does he show up when he says he will? Does he say he is going to call & you don't hear from him? You should be able to know that he stands by his word & you can trust him to be there when he says he is.

To be in a successful relationship you should be able to lean on your man, knowing that he will be willing to be there for you. Thus you will never feel the need of any relationship advice.

--advice from Dr Rakesh Chopra, http://www.DrRakeshChopra.com .

Why I Love You

Why I Love You
Figure this: You are giving a bouquet of gorgeous roses to your beloved. You expect a generous hug, a peck on the cheek, or at least a warm "thank you".
Instead you are asked, "Why do you love me?" To answer these spur of the moment questions, we bring you reasons to love someone. So prepare yourself with these "reasons for loving you" and answer the question that begins with reasons why I love you! Given here are top 20 of the most popular reasons that we came up, to answer this often asked question.

* You complete me.
* You give the word Perfect a new meaning
* I can be myself when I am with you
* You bring out the best in me.
* Just a sight of you lifts my up spirits.
* You have taught me what it is to love and be loved.
* I can be clumsy and foolish when I am with you, yet know that your love for me will never diminish.
* Your smile is enough to make a dull day seem bright as sun.
* Being in your arms makes me feel like I can never be lost again.
* Ever since you have come into my life, I yearn to come back home and see your lovely smile.
* Your innocence makes me forget all shady things of this world.
* I love the way you get angry whenever I am late; yet wait for me for as long as it takes.
* You have given meaning to my existence.
* I love the way your face glows whenever I gift you something.
* You are the only one who can make me smile even in my deepest sorrows.
* I respect the faith you have in me and love you for it.
* I love the calm look on your face when you are sleeping.
* I love waking up in the morning and finding you by my side.
* I get lost in the depth of your mysterious eyes.
* I can fight against the world because I know you will be by my side always.
taken from here.

Show you like him

Sneaky Ways to Show Him You're Interested
None of them are lame...SWEAR

You have a crush on a guy in Spanish class (!Tu eres muy caliente!). You're dying to make a move, but you don't know how he'll react. He could laugh in your face. Or, start avoiding you like you're yesterday's cafeteria lunch. If only you could let this cutie know you like him without looking like a total fool.

the web of mystery
IMs can start out so innocently, but quickly evolve into fierce flirtations.
what to do: When you see your cutie log on, grab his attention by tossing out a question about homework. Be sure to make it an open-ended one like, "How do you think you did on that science test?" If he seems like he's up for chatting, respond with a flirty line like, "I wanna go to the party on Friday, but my parents have plans, so I'm not sure how I'd get there." But if he replies, "I dunno," and nothing else, then he may not be interested. Or, maybe he has a case of writer's block, so try tossing out one more question just to be sure. No response? Next! There are plenty more cute boys out there.
(But first of all, make sure that you serious , i mean, intend to him. I'm not talking about short-term relationship in my blog. I just put something to force you a serious relationship to marriage. ^^Hope this work well for you^^ )

why this works:
Your crush can't see you, so you never have to worry if your blush-prone face turns the color of a candied apple. You also don't have to stress about coming up with something witty on the spot-IM etiquette allows you at least a few minutes to think of a clever comeback. If he doesn't play along after a couple of tries, pound out a quick buh-bye and get outta there.

the look of love

Hey, they don't call them "the windows to the soul" for nothing. Your eyes are the best way to send out a silent-but strong-message. When you let a glance linger a few seconds longer, the message is, "I see you. I like you. Let me rock your world."
Warning: Not all eye contact is -created equal. The signal you're sending him has to be just right.
what to do: First, your glance should start at his brow, move down to his cheekbones and, finally, let your look land around his chin. Every few seconds, meet his eyes again (you might even toss in a smile), then continue scanning his face. This needs to be quick and smooth, and only last about seven or eight seconds. Don't stare because that can seem a little, uh, psycho. He'll notice that you've checked him out, but he won't feel stared down.
why this works: Because you won't have to utter a single word, this approach is ideal for even the shyest girl. If your dude sends back vibes that he's not at all interested (like looking away or seeming bored), it's no big deal. Hey, you never actually said that you liked him, right?
----taken from here with some modification on some parts.

Stop Thinking About Your Boyfriend's Past Relationships

How to Stop Thinking About Your Boyfriend's Past Relationships

Can't stop thinking about your Boyfriend's past relationships?
1. Ask yourself why you are thinking about your Boyfriend's exes.
Is your boyfriend constantly bringing them up in conversation and making comments that leave you feeling inadequate?
Or perhaps it's you creating this problem for yourself, by comparing yourself to the ex?
Identify whether your need to think about them is due to his behaviour or your own.
2. If your Boyfriend is bringing them up, it's time to talk. Tell him how hurtful it is when he mentions his ex and give him a chance to change. If you see no improvement, you should re-consider your relationship. He may not be over his ex.
3. If you're thinking about them yourself, look at why.
Is your self-esteem not as great as it should be? This may well cause you to be look at his past relationships and cause you further worry. Perhaps you are a jealous person? Whatever the reason, only you can work it out.
4. Live in the moment! Those past relationships didn't work for a reason.

Tips
* Be totally honest with yourself when working out why you are thinking about relationships.
* Be kind to yourself - the ex may appear to have something you don't, but your Boyfriend clearly sees you have something to offer (otherwise, he wouldn't be around).
* By thinking about your Boyfriend's ex partners, you are only causing yourself and the relationship a problem. If your boyfriend is truly over his past relationships, bringing them back up to him is likely to turn him off!
--from wikihow.com