The right man for me?

Perhaps you have been dating a man who seems to be very caring, loving & supportive. You wonder & want to seek relationship advice, "Is he the right man for me?"

How do you know if Mr. Right is going to be that man who will be willing to commit to a meaningful relationship & is a person who you can feel comfortable with for the rest of your life?

Here are a few guidelines that might help you make that decision.

When relationships begin, each person is putting on their best face. Of course we don't want the other person to know that down deep inside of us, we are really insecure & have characteristics about ourself that we keep hidden. It is not until the relationship becomes committed or the legal binding of marriage occurs that it is safe to begin to allow that aspect to surface, with less fear that your partner is going to leave you. This is true for everyone on some level, whether one is conscious or unconscious about those insecurities.

It is common for that shadow side to surface after a commitment is made in the relationship, leaving feelings of disappointment. The biggest flaws will be the deepest hidden. There are qualities of a man to look for that will let you know that your man is capable of sustaining a healthy relationship. And this indeed forms the relevant part of relationship advice.

How does your man handle conflict or resolve differences?

Does he become quiet and refuse to discuss the problem?
Or is he willing to communicate about the differences & help to resolve the situation in a loving way?

Communication is essential to a successful relationship. If your man shows signs of withdrawing, pouting, or becomes angry when a conflict arises, it is a major sign of emotional immaturity.

Both partners need to be able to address a problem by sharing their views & emotions without blaming the other. You cannot resolve a problem if he refuses to talk about it or isn't emotionally connected well enough to know what he is feeling. If there is no possibility of conflict, then perhaps the intimacy in the relationship may not be easily established. That doesn't mean that conflict is necessary, but it does mean that he should be willing to take the initiative to openly discuss difficult/controversial subjects & move out of any conflicting situation very easily. The relationship will then deepen.

Does your man value your happiness?

A successful relationship is maintained by both the partners by respecting & honoring their love by committing to each other's best interests. If you are with a man who doesn't cherish your love, but is only concerned with his own happiness, be very wary. He should be willing to go beyond his own self interests & see the worth of honoring those values that you aspire to & hold dear. If you value financial responsibility then his life should show his commitment to a job & being sensible with debt. And if family values are important to you then he must spend maximum time with the family. The relationship advice will be that your happiness must be his priority.

Is your man considerate?

A man should be dependable. Does he show up when he says he will? Does he say he is going to call & you don't hear from him? You should be able to know that he stands by his word & you can trust him to be there when he says he is.

To be in a successful relationship you should be able to lean on your man, knowing that he will be willing to be there for you. Thus you will never feel the need of any relationship advice.

--advice from Dr Rakesh Chopra, http://www.DrRakeshChopra.com .