Get the Right Man - 4

# Women could probably take a couple of pages from this generalization of the behavior of many men.

First, it is important to have a fun period of life so that they feel personally fulfilled and don't resent others in the future, particularly their husband or children.

Next, it is also important to have fun dating, and when pursuing serious relationships ejecting men who are unsuitable early so they can meet more suitable candidates. Being overly picky is not ideal, but women should not tolerate disrespect. The first month or so of dating will be filled with chemistry, but it is important for women to also take the time to "screen" men, in the same way that men screen women, to make sure their date is someone they truly want to allow themselves to get emotionally involved in.

# Many men are perfectly willing to date a woman and be sexually intimate with her without any plans of marrying her. In fact, many men date women for years that they have no intention of marrying. It is therefore important to make sure that women are clear that sex does not necessarily mean as much to many men as it does to many women, and can subject women to a lot more emotional vulnerability than men. This does not indicate that men are not emotionally involved in sex, and men often do feel hurt when a woman accuses them of "using" her. Still, it is important not to read into the meaning of sexual activity. This is something that can be seen on a hormonal level, as oxytocin (a hormone which causes the connection sensation) is released during and after sex, but is blunted in men by the release of testosterone. Please, do sex after marriage only. You will feel very great than others who do sex before marriage.

# Every stage of the relationship should be reciprocated. In the early stages of flirting, if a man is not returning advances, it is wise for a woman to move on to one of the other 3 Billion men available on the planet.
There are plenty of good guys around, it just takes a little time and a lot of first dates to find them. Men are very careful to make sure they know a woman before they commit to her. While some very shy men appreciate when a woman lets a man know she's interested, men are often frightened off by women who make very strong advances, especially of a sexual nature.
This is because a man who does not feel that he knows a woman very well will presume that very interested women must not be basing their desire for him on any part of his own personality. He will therefore perceive advances as indications that she is desperate for any man, instead of interested specifically in him. When a man has not considered the idea of a longer commitment with a woman, talking about marriage before dating at least a year (unless he brings it up first), referring to children, weddings, or any other type of strong commitment set of warning signals in a man's mind. In general, a man who is very interested in a woman will make no mystery of it, will pursue her relentlessly, and suggest marriage first.

# In sum,

men are very selective. When they are dating for fun, they are not as selective. However, when they reach the point where they are interested in marriage, they are slow and careful to get to know women.

If a woman is anxious to commit before a man has considered the idea, he may believe her to be "desperate" and therefore avoid her.
However, when a man meets a mature, "lady-like" (as he defines it), fun, interesting, fulfilled woman who is not desperate, he is more likely to see her interest as genuine, and may make himself ready for marriage sooner so that he won't lose her.

# Attracting a man can be extremely frustrating - if you are unsure about what to do. However, with confidence and a little bit of experience behind you, finding a man can be a snap!

# The first tip of dating is to imagine the type of man you're looking for. Figure it out and write it all down. The top of the list should have "respectful!" Typically, "responsible, respectful, honest" are keys, and the list shouldn't go much beyond that. You should have these same traits when dealing with men. If you find your list goes on and on, you might have some soul-searching to do.

# Once you have figured out this man, imagine where that type of person would be. Would he be hanging out at a bar? Or, more likely, would you find him golfing, hiking, getting an education, or pursuing some other similar activity?
Make a list of 10 places that you would want your future husband to frequent. From art galleries to bookstores, anything goes as long as you are legitimately personally interested in what happens there and would choose to go there on your own. Now make a point of going to those places whenever possible - as long as you continue your own, fulfilling personal life. You've probably already found that you are meeting more men just by pursuing your passions!

# You should dress in whatever way makes you feel comfortable and confident.

However, especially if you are looking for a husband, never feel that you should have to dress in a sexually provocative way to attract a man. All men are a little different, of course - but if you want to dress like a lady, don't feel you need to dress more sexual than that - you will attract men who are looking for a lady.

In general, women dressed in a way that is either too sexual or too prudish have a harder time finding men to commit. In either case, women appear to men as if they're not being themselves.

A woman who dresses in an overly sexy way looks like she's trying too hard to get attention;

a woman who is dressed in an overly conservative way looks like she's suppressing her natural self.

Make a point of confidently expressing who you are, instead of seeking approval or validation through your clothing.

# The best flirting skills are physical ones. This doesn't mean you should be overtly sexual. When you see a man who interests you, make eye contact and smile. The classic look you'll see is this: a woman makes eye contact; she notices the man watching her, blushes, and looks down; then she bravely draws her eyes back up and smiles again.

That description may be a bit too demure or feminine for your style, but adaptations on it hit a chord for men. However, confidence is key, and subservience rarely is attractive to good men (unless that is your cultural norm).

Keep making eye contact and smiling, although don't be creepy. If he looks shy and isn't approaching you after awhile, give him a wink; but if he looks uncomfortable and avoids eye contact, pick a different target.

# Once he approaches you, lean back and relax. Now is his turn to talk to you. But have fun. Joke with him. Gently tease him a little, nicely (not sexually). Tell him one thing exciting in your life, but focus on asking him about his life and commenting on it positively. If you're still attracted and he makes you laugh, touch his arm.

Don't look at your hand, but notice how he reacts. Continue to touch him at intervals. If he starts to look uncomfortable, back off with both your body language and energy level. Your smile is the key, however - men love to make women they love smile. He should initiate from there.

# Remember that although forcing yourself to be more masculine works for business, it is not necessarily a good thing when dating. If you are naturally masculine, that is fine - just don't suppress your natural femininity artificially.

# Many men love the process of pursuing a woman. This doesn't mean you should play games with him. It does, however, mean that often men like to initiate a kiss, initiate sex, say "I love you" first, ask a woman on a date, ask her to be his girlfriend and ask her to be his wife. However, there are obviously some cases where men are shy and therefore don't like to make the first move.
This can happen at times when you either haven't given them enough encouragement or they're simply shy. During the first meeting, after you've made a connection and closer to when you both have to leave, mentioning a restaurant you've been itching to go to, some hobbies you like, or the fact that your activities for that weekend have fallen through may help to bring the process along.

# Remember, during dating, that while it is fun to get carried away with your emotions, it is also fun to just sit back and enjoy the moment without expectations. Especially on the first date, sit back, relax, and keep an open mind. Don't worry about a label at first; just date and enjoy each other. Take a deep breath and just laugh. A great part of the fun is the innocent, initial stages of getting to know each other and wondering how the other person feels. Don't rush things. If things work out, he'll be calling you his girlfriend before you know it.

# Between the sheets! Is there a correct time or way? Some people would suggest waiting until marriage. Others think the first night is fine. There are plenty of examples of both methods both working and failing miserably. As with all things, a little moderation mixed with your own sense of self and confidence in yourself and your intuition is key.

# Your behavior should follow whatever you feel comfortable with. Men often can sense when a woman is acting in a way that is just to please him, including getting involved in sexual activity before you feel comfortable doing so.

In the mind of men, there are two types of women: women they date and/or have sex with, and women they marry.

It is, of course, not fair - but it is how men are hard-wired. Women are often the same - dating rebels and "cool guys" but settling down with the "nicer" guys. While this may not effect the way you date for fun, it may effect how you date for marriage. When a man meets a woman at a bar, does not know her well, sees her in very suggestive clothing, and sleeps with her the same night, even while he may argue that he respects her for being sexually liberated, it is very difficult for him to know whether this is her usual pattern of behavior or not. While men enjoy the sex, men are as emotionally fragile as women and are afraid of getting hurt by being cheated on. While men appreciate a woman who has some experience in bed and has enthusiasm for sex, they are also looking for a loyal partner. Even if the logic does not make sense, just like many women, men can be scared when they suspect a woman has had many partners because they are afraid that if they do not perform well in bed, the woman will leave them or cheat on them. How should this effect your behavior? It does not necessarily imply that you should wait just to satisfy his insecurities - but it does imply that just because you know he wants to have sex or he is pressuring you for sex, it does not mean you should have sex if you are not ready. Please do not have sex before marrieage. It is more better. You will find true meaning of love. And sex after marriage will make both of you more in love.