Are you Shy realist ?

This time, i want to share something precious , :) , maybe you find your self as a shy realist.. When it comes to dating, you are a Shy Realist. This means you may have found it difficult to connect with "the one" for you. There are so many people out there, and meeting new prospects can be hard. In fact, you may be so shy that you have to muster up courage just to start a conversation with someone you don't know that well. You can feel daunted by the uncomfortable silences and small talk that sometimes follow "hello." By and large, you're not one for superficial relationships. You believe in getting to know the individuals in your life on a deeper level than most people do, particularly if they're a love interest.

The time that you take to get to know potential dates really pays off in the end. You can come to understand what makes them tick. Also, because you may prefer to see a prospective partner in good times and bad before making a commitment, you tend to build your relationships on pretty solid ground. As a result, once you've finally settled down, you can reap the rewards of all the energy it took to get you there.

Based on your characters , we can also tell that you've often relied on destiny to guide your romantic life. Tending to sit back and let the universe do its work, you may expect that one day you'll simply bump into your ideal mate like lovers do in the movies. Perhaps you've even found yourself saying, "When the time is right, love will find me." Because of this approach, meeting new people can feel like a random event. So far your search for love has demanded that you be in the right place at the right time. Sometimes fate works like a charm. After all, your past relationships have probably come from places you'd never expect. Still, if you've failed to make a proactive plan to meet people up until now, you may have found that you've gone for long stretches without dating anyone at all. If you take just a little time and make just a little effort to direct your search a bit, you could increase your chances of meeting someone right for you.

MEETING YOUR MATCH : WHERE TO BEGIN
There are many ways you can find love. But based on your personality, your best bet is to join a group doing an activity you find interesting. While you're pursuing this pastime, you can both satisfy your curiosity and create numerous opportunities to meet people who share your interest. Ever wanted to learn a new language? Join a class. Love the outdoors? Find a hiking group. You know that it takes time to get to know people, so why not spend that time doing something you love? The longer you stick with an activity, the more you'll get to know the other members. The more you get to know the other members, the better you'll be able to determine if any of them could be a candidate for love, or through their connections, will lead you to that special person

PREPARING TO DATE : YOUR PERSONALIZED CHECKLIST
You've just learned about your dating personality and how it can affect your approach to finding love. Now let's turn to some practical ways you can better prepare yourself to find your mate. Based on your characteristics, here are the top 6 guidelines to help you meet your match

1. Be self-aware
The more you are in touch with your own likes, dislikes, behaviors, and shortcomings, the more equipped you'll be to find love.Not only will self-knowledge aid you once you're in a relationship, but it can also help you to feel at ease when meeting new people.When you know yourself, you can be yourself, and this brings a whole new kind of confidence to your dating style.
Just how can one become more self-aware? The most basic way is by paying attention to your actions and feelings in different situations. For a more complete view, consider asking the people who know you best, and who will be truthful, to tell you their perceptions of you. Sometimes it's hard to hear what others think of us, but be brave. You might be pleasantly surprised by what they have to say. No matter what, you'll gain valuable insights into your character.

2. Ditch your personal baggage
When a relationship ends, you're typically left with a random collection of photos, fond memories, stray T-shirts, and mementos. However, what you may not realize is that each relationship also leaves a little something behind in your psyche, a reminder of the experiences you shared with another person. Some of these mental marks can be positive, like memories of laughter, special moments together, and thoughts about the times when you felt completely loved and accepted. Other marks are not so positive. Unfortunately, most people have had at least one relationship that ended poorly or one person who treated them unfairly. If you've ever been hurt like this, you know it can leave a chip on your shoulder that you carry into dating and future relationships.

No one wants to feel pain, but to truly connect with someone, it's best to leave your preconceptions at the door. Just because one love used to lie to you doesn't mean your next one will. Don't cower behind your old fears. And don't presume that if a new interest shares one characteristic with an old flame, that they share all characteristics with that person. Similarly, if you always had to nag your old flame, don't start into your new relationship where you left off with your old flame. Don't start your relationship off on the wrong foot by showing your new interest you're going to nag them for no reason.

You appreciate that finding someone you're interested in can be a lot of work. As a result, in past relationships you've likely taken it upon yourself to really get to know the person you're dating. You want to ensure that you're compatible. Typically not one to rely on love at first sight, you prefer to let your feelings about a relationship unfold slowly, layer by layer. That way you can decide over time if you and your partner are truly meant to be. By being deliberate about the process of getting to know someone, you can feel confident when you decide to end a relationship and move ahead. You've already taken the time to get to know the person and how the two of you function together.

Decisions to leave past relationships have probably been difficult ones, because you were so hoping that things would work out. Still, rather than hanging on to a picture of how you wanted your relationship to be, you tend to deal in reality. This ability to recognize what's happening in your love life and act on it will serve you well as you search for "the one" and in gaining the confidence to know when you've found them.

3. Love yourself for who you are
Chances are, there are some aspects of yourself that you like, and others you're not so crazy about. You may love that you're friendly and easygoing, but detest that you sometimes let people walk all over you. You might appreciate that you have your mother's beautiful eyes, but be endlessly frustrated that she also passed along that short gene to you. Everyone has parts of themselves that they'd like to change - although they may not readily admit to them. Rather than harp on the aspects you don't like, psychologists encourage you to begin accepting yourself as a whole person, warts and all. Remember that no one is perfect and everyone has faults. It may sound cliché, but it is our differences that make us unique. Those who can realize this truth and accept themselves for better and for worse are best able to connect with another person to find love.

4. Increase your self-esteem
Feeling good about yourself is one of the most attractive qualities you can possess. Whether you realize it or not, positivity radiates in ways that people can feel. Think about the last time you saw someone who was really at ease. They may have seemed to glide right into the room and chances are, they got more than one person's attention. But it's all well and good to say, "Feel good about yourself," when the fact of the matter is that some days are better than others.

Self-esteem fluctuates and certain events that affect it are beyond your control. However, once you know how a particular type of situation is likely to affect you, you have much more power over the repercussions. For example, if a friend of yours has a habit of making snide remarks that put you down, it's likely that you always feel bad about yourself after spending time with them. In such a case, you have options. You can stop spending time with your friend or speak up for yourself until the remarks stop. By taking either action, rather than just letting the pattern continue, you make positive steps towards building that kind of self-esteem that attracts partners.

5. Get in the right mindset
Build upon what you have learned about yourself by creating a list of all of the positive things about you. Before going out to mix and mingle, take this list and reflect on it. After you've spent a few minutes really letting the things that you've written sink in, take a good, long look in the mirror and begin to tell yourself about what was on the list. Though it may seem strange at first, psychologists swear that these kinds of affirmations can make all the difference in how a person is perceived — both by themselves and potential mates. Speak about all of your positive qualities in a convincing voice, and feel free to add new qualities on to the list as you think of them.

Once you've mastered this task and are feeling confident about all you have to offer, consider trying something that will challenge you. Try setting up some attainable goals to help you find someone special such as, "I will speak with at least one new person tonight," or, "I will smile at one complete stranger while I am out." Once you've met these objectives, feel free to up the ante. Set goals that may be beyond what you think you are capable of doing, and then see what you are made of. You might not reach every goal, but chances are you'll be pleasantly surprised by what you can accomplish.

6. Last minute tips
To further prepare yourself to get out there and meet the perfect partner, here are some thoughts to keep in mind wherever you are, to maximize your dating potential.

So much goes into making a connection with someone, particularly with individuals to whom you're attracted. Meeting and interacting with new people can be overwhelming at times. To alleviate some of this undue pressure, one of the best things you can do is go into any situation where you might meet someone with a positive attitude. Several steps can help you.

First, prior to going out, try meditating or taking some deep breaths so that you can socialize with a clear head.

Second, when you're out and about, remember to smile and make eye contact with people. There's no need to grin or stare unnaturally. Just relax as much as you can and stay open to the people around you.

Lastly, when you find yourself talking to new people that you might like to date, ask them questions about themselves. Not only will this approach help you decide whether a particular prospect would make a good match, it's also likely to put the person you're chatting with at ease. Most people love to talk about themselves and their interests, and they will typically appreciate that you've taken an interest in them.

Remember that a lot of the advice people give you about life in general still applies to dating. If someone doesn't respond to you in the way that you had hoped, don't take it personally. Instead of being self-critical, try to think of the situation in a new way. If someone didn't smile back at you, maybe they were having a bad day. If a person didn't laugh at your jokes, perhaps you two simply don't share the same sense of humor. Think of these kinds of situations as saving you a good deal of time and energy. Your efforts are best spent on people who can enjoy and appreciate you. It's far too exhausting trying to figure out how to please people and make them laugh if they don't share a number of commonalities with you.


THE DATING SCENE : GET OUT THERE
Once you've taken some time working with the advice in the previous sections, you'll be ready to get out there and apply what you've learned. Don't expect yourself to have fully mastered these tips before taking the plunge into dating.

Perfect self-esteem, complete self-knowledge, and zero emotional baggage are not realistic precursors for meeting someone special. If they were, no one would date. Instead, you can simply be aware of these ideas and learn about yourself as you go. In fact, committing to evolving as an individual and acknowledging there are still things for you to improve is the best way to come into a relationship that will need the same kind of commitment, attention, and love.

It may seem as if you've hit a wall in the dating process and have exhausted all your options to meet someone you care about. You may even feel as if the people to whom you're attracted simply don't understand you, or appreciate what a catch you are. Try not to let these feelings get you down. Make the best use of your determined spirit and try different approaches to getting to know people, from bravely approaching new strangers to reconnecting with old friends. As you experiment with different ways of interacting, note what works for you and what could be improved. Over time you can fine-tune these suggestions to make them a part of your natural routine.

You may have tried some of these suggestions before, but do yourself a favor and try them again. Because you are likely to have just learned a good deal about yourself, you may find that the techniques work differently now. Also, know that some suggestions may feel awkward to you at first. It's often hard to try new things. Only practice makes perfect.

So here's the first thing you can try: use networking to your advantage.

How to use networking to your advantage
Most people think of networking as being limited to the business arena. The word likely conjures up images of people in suits trading business cards, or someone seeking leads to find a job, or a sales person making connections to find new clients. But networking is much more than a way of doing business. It's a practice that can help you in your search to find your ideal mate.

Networking is all about using your current connections to make future ones. This technique can be put to use easily in your search for someone special. Almost anyone in your social circle is likely to have friends or acquaintances who are single and looking for a date. Just think of how many people you know — friends, work colleagues, neighbors. You can probably compile quite a long list. The key is to access this vast resource in a way that fits with your personality.

Networking offers many opportunities to meet new people and it can work for anyone — even in your shier moments — if you're willing to take a risk. As discussed above, it can be difficult to connect with people who you don't know. This being the case, it would be best to begin your networking attempts with people with whom you share a common interest. Why not try joining an organization that is dedicated to discussing your field of work? You can find a group for almost any field including engineering, medicine, marketing, and parents groups. These organizations are typically easy to join and immediately provide you with the chance to meet people who like doing the same things and have similar views on at least some larger issues.

Another suggestion you might want to try is to join the alumni association of your high school or college. Think about how easily you could strike up a conversation about "the good old days" with someone you grew up with. A past is a great thing to have in common. By participating in activities that bring your classmates together, you're likely to rekindle old friendships and form new ones. Surprisingly, you may find that people you never even spoke to during school now turn out to be the ones with whom you have the most in common. As you reminisce and forge new ties, you can also seek out networking connections who may lead you to Mr. or Ms. Right.

Finally, if you're looking for a real networking challenge, consider bringing your friends into the mix. This suggestion may not necessarily fit with your typical impulses, but why not try something new? Ask friends if they know any single, available people who could be a good match for you. When dating prospects turn up, have your friends set them up with you. This alleviates the pressure of making the first move. Dates may work out, and they may not. That's the nature of dating. Either way, you can be proud of yourself because you've broken out of usual behaviors to get yourself that much closer to finding "the one."

Source :

Clark, C., Shaver, P. R., & Abrahams, M. F. (1999). Strategic behaviors in romantic relationship initiation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 25 (6), 707-720.

Flora, J. & Segrin, C. (2000). Relationship development in dating couples: Implications for relational satisfaction and loneliness. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17(6), 811-825.

Glick, P. (1985). Orientations toward relationships: Choosing a situation in which to begin a relationship. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 21, 544-562.

Knee, C. R. (1998). Implicit theories of relationships: Assessment and prediction of romantic relationship initiation, coping, and longevity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(2), 360-370.