By Whitneay T. Vanwells In our counseling work with our clients here at FusionMasters TM Ltd., we have run into one main issue that keeps repeating itself. That issue is 'how to find true love'. Below are some of the reasons that we have received from our clients that they have found to block them on their journey to find true love.
1. Mother and Father programs. We all had someone, or a group of someone's that raised us. They had problems that someone gave to them in their early childhood. These subconscious blocks and programs, are handed down, through day today contact with the same people. Depending on who raised you, and what they carried, you also have the identical blocks and programs in your subconscious mind. Regardless of the fact that you might have said: "No matter what, I will not be like THEM! You inwardly, copied their deep subconscious beliefs, and recorded it in your own mind. When 2 people get married, they are generally O.K. for about a year. It is after this time, that the subconscious blocks and programs start to surface. Even if you have a true love relationship, or that possibility, this will happen. Soon, you are wondering who the heck you married. "I didn't notice THAT when we were dating!" Is a common statement, that we hear. But, what you really don't like about your partner, is their Mother and Father blocks and programs, their subconscious childhood programming. This programming is part of the karmic burden, that they are working on in this life time. And, the problems begin in a relationship, when these programs start to surface so that the person can work through them. And, who do we play these old programs on, but the very person, we love and trust the most, our mate.
2. The Munchkins. Next, a little passenger shows up. The parent programs that you transferred to your partner, you are now also saying and doing to your child. Sad. This is what you swore that you would never, ever, do! You might stuff some these programs, but when they come out you don't like what you are saying and doing and worse yet, you can't seem to stop! Tears come, or a new drinking habit materializes, because you just can't take it. You are now beginning to realize that you have a big problem, and the problem is inside. You try to stop. But, you soon find, yourself repeating the same copied rage over, and over again. You might mistreat your mate, you might mistreat your children, and you hate yourself for what you are doing, and saying. Most of the population never do any work on themselves, and a few start, and soon give up on therapy. Only to become a hardening copy, of their own parents over time. Most stay within this loss of identity for life, believing that there is no way out. This is the mind's way of keeping control.
3. Self Hatred. When you are not able to be yourself, and to communicate as yourself, you soon start a struggle with your mind, and ego. My husband also had a struggle with his mind, and his parents inside of him. We were a dysfunctional couple, and our little family was also dysfunctional. Neither of us realized that the whole world was based on dysfunctional programs, that were handed down from parents to children. We didn't know that the difficulties that we were experiencing, the neighbors next door were dealing with as well. In our childhood homes we had learned about rage, self hatred, and self anger. When rage, and self hatred live inside of us it takes up the space where self love could exist.
4. Divorce.At some point you reach the conclusion that your marriage sucks, and that you want out of it. You might have slept with someone else, or you new, favorite past time, might be bitching about what a loser your partner is. All women have universal man hating programs, and they are notorious for complaining to other women about their spouse. New fantasies about having sex or a relationship with someone new might become common place. Soon, one of you, either yourself or your spouse, is more fed up than the other, and goes to see a lawyer and files for divorce. Let the games begin. During the divorce process, and after the divorce, you might fluctuate between sadness, and lashing out at your ex-spouse....the person that you once believed walked on water. Some how, in your confusion and pain, you forgot who your partner was, who you are, and who your children are. The problem is still inside.
5. The Warehouse. There is a second, Big 'D'. That would be known as depression. Depression, is really just another name for anger, and for feeling used, let down or betrayed. The trust was broken in the relationship but, most likely by both parties. A deep hurt prevails. At the center of this vast hurt, is what We call the "Warehouse". The warehouse is the store room of all your past life hurts and this life hurts. When we go through a big trauma, like a divorce, this warehouse opens up. That is why the pain can be excruciating. You are not only feeling the loss of love from the adult relationship dying, you are also feeling ALL of your childhood hurts, and even past life pain. The pain is excruciating, and over overwhelming. If you have abandonment issues, you might also feel, the severe loss of love, from your early childhood.
6. The Cross Roads. Now you come to a new place in your life. You can continue to create more of the same, and end up going through a second divorce with someone that will most likely be very much like your first partner........Or. You might turn to a new religion. This may not be a religious path like becoming a member of the Catholic Church. This is a new, inner, religion is to find out: "Who The Heck Am I?" This is not an ordinary religion. This religion has to do with finding the true altar within, your true Self. You looked for you, in money, and for some reason, you weren't there. You looked for you, in your work, and again, you were not there. You looked for you in a life partner, and the above story blew that away. But, some place, inside of you, on one of those very dark nights, when you thought you might be better off to just "check out", something very good happened. Maybe in the dark of the night, came one of those Great Souls from the other side, who whispered gentle divine messages to you. Messages, that you thought were your own thoughts. Whatever method Spirit chose to talk to you, you were given the gift of 'the cross roads'. The cross roads, is the realization that you have the choice to either create more chaos in your life or that you can turn your attention towards discovering your own identity.
7. The Seeker. Perhaps you have come to this web site, because you are looking. You are looking for love, or your are looking for self love. You might have been on the path for a long time, or maybe a year or two. You might just be starting to look for you, now. You have many battle scars on your heart, but you forge ahead. You are now, 10 times the person that you were when you were a small child, though you may not be at all aware of the changes in yourself. To become the receiver of love, you know that you will have to work on learning to give real love. You might be a meditator, a member of a new age religion, or you have attended a ton of personal growth seminars. You might be at a point where you could give a seminar. And, it would most likely be a good one. You have been through many battles of the ego, and you have won battles, and others, you are still fighting. You finally realized that to have, and keep true love, that you had to develop a love relationship with YOU, first. You are now the Knight, no matter if you are male or female, and you are ready to receive true love.
8. Is Some Body Out There! You are now a prime candidate for a true love relationship. But, there is one last hurdle, to jump over. Because of all of the work that you have done on your SELF, you are now too far above the majority of the population. You are not willing to accept a partner that has not done the same work, that you have done. That would be going down hill. And, people like you, are very hard to find. Celibacy, is not your cup of tea. You miss touch terribly. But, you would rather be celibate, and have a great time in the shower, than hook up with a partner, that doesn't know who the heck THEY ARE. But, you realize that you are on the last part of your Journey and you also know that you only need 1 person, and only 1, and that they are out THERE. And, they are looking for YOU.
9. True Love. By now, you might have learned to love, and care for yourself. You get bummed out sometimes but you know that everyone does. You take responsibility for your emotions, and your life. You care about you. You might even know something about unconditional love. You are now ready, so in walks your life partner ... Like attracts like, and like you, they are thrilled. They knew that they had to do their homework. They knew about the cross roads, and the effort that it takes to become a magnet for love. Like you, they found the religion of the Self, and worked hard to unravel the ego. Like you, they would not settle for less, they waited, and searched. Like you, they are in ecstasy, knowing that they really have found "The One" - YOU! You are realizing a dream, your wish made manifest after so many painful years of searching. Now, the 2 of you can share the real Journey, the Journey Home to God.
Your Life Journey, might have other twists than the above story. You might have loved yourself enough to NOT have to go through some of these stages. Maybe you went through them in another life. You might be experiencing one of these stages right now. You might have already found true love. For those of those of you that have found true love, you already have your Blessings. For those of you, who are on the Journey to find your True Love....... you have ours.
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