How to Reject Someone Without Breaking Their HeartEver wanted to reject someone without the heartbreak and tears? It's not that hard, really. Just be sure to follow a few of these ideas and you will be able to step away from the encounter unscathed. 1. Look around to make sure no one's watching. The worst that can happen is being rejected in front of other people! If there are people present, take their arm and try to slide away from the others. Perhaps if you can slip into a semi-private corner or at least to where the others are not within hearing distance.
2. Act like you feel sorry, and smile at the right times.
Make sure you smile regretfully, like you really just wish you could give them a chance but it's not going to happen. This will soften the actual blow from the words.
3. Cheer them up a little. Be very kind to the person; being kind makes it easier on them.
Be sure that your kindness does not stray into pity. The worst thing in a rejection is pity. They have put all their dignity and pride on the line, and pitying them will only make it harder on both of you to stay calm. If you act like you really don't want this person, be prepared for their reactions, mostly dejection, awkwardness and pain.
4. Use a calm, collected voice when speaking to them. Don't blurt out the first thing that comes into your head. Take a pause before you say anything and think of the best thing to say to either end all of the attraction instantly or keep them as a friend. Act like you care when you say "No", or you may start waterworks.------------------
* You have to understand how degrading it is for boys to be rejected. * Don't be so rude to them! What point would there be in trying not to break their heart if you're rude!? * If the person gets mad, stay calm and keep acting a little sorry, but happy as well to try to calm them down. * The best thing to say when turning down someone that you do know or will have to see on a regular basis is that you have stronger feelings as friends. This gives them their answer, without giving them any hope for the future. * If this is a person that you don't like at all, or will not have to ever see again, then keep the rejection as blunt as possible without being unnecessarily mean. This guarantees that they will not try again and will also not say bad things about you when you're not around. * It is also possible to say that you are honoured that they have feelings for you but it is not possible at this time for you to return them, but you hope that you can remain friends. * Do not flirt with them during or anytime soon after the rejection. It is very easy to just charm them with a compliment as you let them down, but be sure not to lay it on too thick or the "No" you are issuing will not be heard.
* If you feel,however, that although now is not the right time, but maybe someday, give them hope with clear outlines. Let them know where they stand and perhaps what is holding you back from saying yes now.
1. Acknowledge that the relationship is really over. Come to terms with your own feelings and make a firm decision to end the relationship.
2. Don't delay the inevitable. Once you decide to break up with your partner, immediately think about how, when and where you will take action.
3. Make sure you're the one who personally delivers the news. Don't give a third party the opportunity to tell your partner that you want to break up before you have the chance to discuss the matter alone.
4. Select a private place to meet with your partner to end the relationship.
5. Find or schedule an appropriate time. Approach the topic when both of you are calm and rational. Don't announce your intention to break up during a heated argument or a moment of anger.
6. Show your resolve by being firm, decisive and honest. Help your partner understand why you want to end the relationship. Be tactful, not brutal.
7. Remind your partner that you'll never forget the positive qualities in your relationship, but emphasize that you're ready to move on with your life.
8. Give your partner the closure that he or she needs to accept the breakup; answer questions and talk it over instead of leaving loose ends.
9. Stay positive as you both make plans to go your separate ways.
More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried individuals.
The American Association for Single People projects that by 2010, 47.2% of adults will be unmarried.
Being single does not mean being alone, nor does being in a couple for the holidays ensure happiness. Let’s dispel some myths!
Myth #1: Single people are lonely at Christmas.
Reality: No moreso than anyone else. This is a projection of people who fear “being alone for the holidays,” a fear of the unknown. Still you're waiting find your true love. Keep honest to yourself. Do not under value yourself. Do not moving without thinking. Find someone that honest to you, someone in your standard, - i mean if you honestly feel settle with him-, someone that can respect you as you are.
Myth #2: Single people need you to invite them over to your celebration.
Reality: Contrary to perceptions, single people are v. popular at Christmas, and we generally receive lots of invitations. If you want us over, we'd love to be invited, but would prefer it's because you like us, not because you think we need it. Do not let your environment, friend, or family rush you into dating for the sake of not being lonely. You are a human being who deserved to know what you are getting yourself into including the inner quality of a potential date.
Myth #3: Single people don’t know what to do for the holidays.
Reality: On the contrary, we are used to planning our social lives actively, good at generating options, and used to making unilateral decisions. We’re pros! =)
Myth #4: Single people are available to perform certain social tasks during the holiday celebration.
Reality: We like to be cherished guests. We don’t like to be the steer among the bulls – invited to get people who don’t get along off of one another’s throats. If you don’t like your family and friends, why would we? “Can you come over and help out with Aunt Edna?” is not an invitation.
Myth #5: Single people are available to do certain physical tasks during the holiday celebration.
Reality: Nor is this an invitation: “It’s John’s in-laws and I want to impress them. Can you come over and help with the hors d’oeuvres?” As best-friend, yes; as the only working-guest, absolutely not. =) Please respect one another sincerely, ok.
Myth #6: Single people are misfits, outsiders.
Reality: On the contrary, most of us have highly developed Emotional Intelligence skills; that’s the reason we get the ‘rescue us’ invitations! Outsiders? It’s about half the adult world now. Take another look!
Myth #7: If a single person isn’t part of a couple, or doesn’t spend Christmas with a couple or family, they will be miserable.
Reality: Come on now. Is it so horrible to celebrate Christmas on a cruise to the Caribbean, coming back rested, tanned and relaxed?
Myth #8: The only “happy” way to spend the holidays is if you are a couple or part of a family.
Reality: If that were so, half the articles on the Internet this time of year wouldn’t be about how to cope with the annual holiday dinner with the relatives, and the divorce rate in the US wouldn’t be 50%.
Myth #9: Single people have “nowhere to go” for the holidays.
Reality: Nowhere to go? We have everywhere to go! I loved my years as Mrs. Santa. Now I’m on-the-go. I’m thinking about Germany this year. There are so many places to go I can’t decide!!
In fact I have so many neat ideas for spending Christmas on-your-own, if you’re stuck I’ll give you a FREE coaching session.
Yahoo! Personals Canada About The Author:
© Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, http://www.susandunn.cc. Coaching, teaching, training, and eBooks for your personal and professional development. Check out the best ebook library on the Internet - http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZine. I train and certify EQ coaches. Email me for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program.
