Forgiveness and Letting Go in Your Marriage or Relationship
Being able to forgive and to let go of past hurts is a critical tool for a marriage relationship.
Additionally, being able to forgive is a way to keep yourself healthy both emotionally and physically.
Health Aspects of Forgiving
If you hold on to old hurts, disappointments, petty annoyances, betrayals, insensitivity, and anger, you are wasting both your time and your energy. Nursing a perceived hurt can eventually make it in to something more - hate and extreme bitterness.
Lack of forgiveness can wear you down.
Additionally, being unforgiving is not good for either our physical and mental well being.
How to Forgive
* Be open.
* Make a decision to forgive your spouse.
* When images of the betrayal or hurt flash in your mind, think of a calming place or do something to distract yourself from dwelling on those thoughts.
* Don't throw an error or mistake back in your spouse's face at a later date. Don't use it as ammunition in an argument.
* Don't seek revenge or retribution. It will only extend the pain.
* Accept that you may never know the reason for the transgression.
* Remember that forgiveness doesn't mean you condone the hurtful behavior.
* Be patient with yourself. Being able to forgive your spouse takes time. Don't try to hurry the process.
* If you continue to be unable to forgive, or you find yourself dwelling on the betrayal or hurt, please seek professional counseling to help you let go and forgive. Don't forget to praying for your marriage from your first time.
How to Ask for Forgiveness
* Show true contrition and remorse for the pain that you've caused.
* Be willing to make a commitment to not hurt your spouse again by repeating the hurtful behavior.
* Accept the consequences of the action that created the hurt.
* Be open to making amends.
* Be patient with your spouse. Being able to forgive you often takes time. Don't dismiss your spouse's feelings of betrayal by telling your spouse to "get over it."
Marriage Relationships Need Forgiveness
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has grumpy days. Many people say things they do not mean now and then.
Everyone needs to forgive and to be forgiven. No relationship, especially a marriage relationship, can be sustained over a long period of time without forgiveness.
Even though you may find it find it difficult to forgive, being able to forgive is crucial in marriage.
Knowing When Enough is Enough (in relationship) If your spouse abuses you, continues to betray you, continues to lie to you, etc., then it may be time to say enough is enough and to end your relationship. In these situations, forgiveness for the past hurts may take longer and that is okay.
Knowing When Enough is Enough (in marriage) If your spouse abuses you, continues to betray you, continues to lie to you, etc., then it may be time to ask help from consultant or your spiritual leader.Don't forget to pray. By His grace, you will have more understanding about your self and your spouse, and how to make solution next time.
From Sheri & Bob Stritof, with additions in some parts.
Based on what has happened to us, maybe there is trauma, sometimes, "fear to love the new one" shadowing us. Do you ever feel this too? Read this article, i believe, after that, we would find, there is new fresh thing come in to your heart.
True love?
"I love you" – the three magic words which keep the world going round.
How many times have we said "I love You" to the person who have stepped into our lives with some magic. Still, we can not imagine, how's that feeling come to us. And how many times have we heard it ourselves? Why do we say "I love You" – what do we mean by it really ?
Do we say because it’s the normal thing to say, because for the sake of saying it only, because we have nothing else to say or is it that the words are music to the ears of that other person. What do you understand of the meaning of true love? And where do you find it ? Before hunting for the answers, let us first recap of our own understanding of the word Love.
True Love is strictly a low of warm energy that bonds two people in a sharing and common relationship, on a single platform. If a relationship is a tiny sapling, love is the water of life which makes it grow into a mammoth.
So if love is that secret life force, life energy, and its freely available in all our hearts, why are so miserly to give it ? Is it our fear of loss, feeling of insecurity or vulnerability that holds us back?
If you look carefully, love is something that grows inside us. It does not grow on trees that you pick at random when you want it. To be able to get love, we must learn how to give it first. Love exists in the deepest part of all our souls, as a jewel or a lamp that needs to be kindled for the energy to flow out.
If you start by having a closer re-look at your self, think how much love do you have for your own self? How far do you accept your self the way you are?
The quantum of love that you attract from those around you is exactly the same amount you give away. We mirror what is already existing in our souls. Never expect love from something, if you don’t have love for it your self.
This brings us to the critical question – are you prepared enough to fall in love ? Can you let go of your ego, pride and insecurities, and be ready just to give ?
Don’t hold back your love for the fear of hurt, just because you lost out on one relationship. Stopping to love is equal to stopping to love yourself. While we look for love, its management, and the consequent happiness is in our hands. So open up your mind’s eyes and let love roll in.
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Friends, Are you Christian? this below, i just want to share some verses, that has brighten my gray day up . From Isaiah 43:18-19 "Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, [and] rivers in the desert." (KJV)
1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."(KJV)
